Love Bites

Love String

The safe word is "Catapult". Tika's on the phone with Cleopatra, the beautiful Amazonian woman she met at an ice cream social, making plans for tonight. Meanwhile, we're stuck in the back of Lala's Mustang about to "swim with the fishes" as they say. Luckily for her and me, I've been known to get myself out of some sticky situations. How a petite little thing like Lala was able to get the jump on both of us is beyond me but now wasn't the time for pointing fingers even though we can both agree that this is all Tika's fault.

It all started on the morning of August 17, 2017. I lost fractions of myself that day. Maxwell was playing in the background as I got dressed with the girls. I never saw it coming but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Tika was grieving the loss of her grandfather and we decided to take a trip to Cancún, Mexico to brighten up her spirits. When we arrived, we were greeted by the hotel staff who showed us to our rooms. We were invited along with the rest of the guests downstairs for ice cream and chocolate-dipped fruits. We stopped by and said hello only for a few minutes before heading to the bar for cocktails and a night of clubbing. Lala chose the club we were heading to for the night and helped Tika pick out her outfit. A sexy mauve dress with sequins that left little to the imagination. So, imagine her surprise when Cleopatra, the hotel manager, shimmy shook her way over to where we were standing wearing an equally revealing two-piece – a little blue ensemble that hugged every curve. Now I'm no instigator but I knew this was going to be good. Lala stepped away to get another drink and before I knew it Tika was doing the "Stanky Legg" and other ridiculous moves on the dance floor. She can be really embarrassing when she's trying to impress someone new. Tika subscribes to the school of thought that love triumphs over everything. Tika believes that if a woman is within close proximity of her soulmate, she's got to make her move.

Sharon, one of Lala's nosey friends who accompanied us on this 'lift-up-Tika's-spirits-girls' trip, had to put her nose in where it didn't belong. "Lala, are you just going to stand there and let her embarrass you like that," Sharon scoffed. Leann, our resident peacekeeper, reminded Lala to chill out and said "it's just a dance". I grabbed another drink and burst out laughing and watching as Lala turned beet red. Lala mouthed something cryptic to Sharon underneath her breath. She was clearly not having a good time. Tika says I have no poker face; she says I have a tell. She won't tell me what that is but I think Lala figured it out. She was glaring at me as if I was her girlfriend who was flirting with another woman. "It's only a dance Lala," I said finally. "Let the girl have some fun, Lala," Leann chimed in. I finished sipping my Mojito, pulled the girls to the dance floor, and started a conga line. This did not help the situation because now Lala was standing fist clenched watching Cleopatra with her hands on Tika's waist which occasionally slipped down to her behind.

Whoops. I tried. We all watched a frustrated Lala stump her feet and leave the bar. Tika was having too much fun to even notice Lala had left. I asked Sharon to go and check on her and Leann and I went to eavesdrop on the conversation between Tika and Cleo. The music slowed down and the love birds were dancing closer and enjoying themselves. Tika took Cleo's hand and headed to a table nearby. Leann and I stopped slow whining and followed behind them, laughing and ordering more drinks. "Tell me of all the fish ponds in the world, how did you end up in mine?" Cleo asked her. Tika stopped listening a while ago, she was batting her eyelashes and staring off into the sunset. I could tell she was already fantasizing about her white picket fence and choosing ugly bridesmaids' dresses. I might have a tell but so does my friend. I called the waitress over again and asked for another drink but Leann quickly signaled the young woman, telling her I had enough. Tika, Leann, and I went home. Tika got Cleopatra's number and that was the end of that or so I thought. The next morning, we all woke up to Lala screaming her ass off about an email she found on Tika's computer. Cleo asked her on another date. They were going snorkeling next weekend. Fast forward a couple of days later and Tika and I are floating down our slippery graves. I managed to get one of my hands free and untied the rope around Tika's hands. I began to MacGyver my hoop earrings into the door but it was too late, water was starting to fill up Lala's Mustang. Tika found a cell phone and the first call she made was to Cleopatra. "How did you know that phone was in here?" I asked. "It's my phone," she replied. Yes, baby. "Catapult,"Tika whispered into the phone. She turned her back, planning a booty call with Cleo while we were about to drown. I snatched the phone from her, hung up on Cleo, and frantically started calling the cops. Tika took off her spiked heels and shattered the rear windshield. We pushed the broken glass out and jumped into the cold murky water.

Tika's step-dad was already on the way with backup, she sent him a text message with our location before dialing Cleo. I wish I knew this before ruining my earrings. Lala was arrested several weeks later. Tika felt bad about the whole situation, she refused to press charges but fuck that, you know what they say about a woman's scorned. I pressed charges. I'm not taking any chances with that one.