Can We Learn to Love Again?

Don't Give Up On Me

Greetings, friends! I'm finally back with a new chapter. It took me a while to find the motivation to revisit this, but I'm here now, and I hope it was worth the wait. FYI, this story goes AU after 5x04 (so the events of 5x05 and beyond are not part of this story). 

This is also my contribution to the #SurreraCountdown on Twitter. Twenty more days to a new episode!

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As Andy packed up her few belongings into her overnight bag, she thought back to that day, just one week ago, when she had stood on the Aurora Bridge, a half-empty bottle of tequila in her hand, and thought about jumping into the cold water below. She didn't really want to die, and when she told her therapist at the inpatient facility that, Andy was surprised when she responded: "Most people don't. They just don't want to live the life they have." At the time, Andy had scoffed. She didn't see the distinction, but over the last week, she had begun to understand what the therapist meant and had taken the first steps toward getting herself healthy enough to begin to rebuild the life that she wanted.

She could hardly believe it was only a week ago. She felt like she had lived a lifetime in those seven days.

Theo had parked his car as close to the bridge as he could, not caring whether it was a legal spot or not. He'd deal with a parking ticket later. Running at top speed, he relaxed only slightly when he caught sight of Andy. She was sitting on the railing, her legs dangling over the edge, staring blankly out across the water. The security fencing would prevent her from accidentally falling, but if she was determined, someone with her strength and agility could scale the fence within moments. As he got closer, she did not appear to notice him, so he slowed his stride, took a few deep breaths, and tried to remember what he had learned during the Crisis Prevention Training.

"Remain calm. Keep it simple. Pay attention to your body language," he thought to himself. He remembered the techniques, but now that he was called upon to use them to try to help a friend, he wished they had all taken the training a little more seriously.

As he approached Andy, she noticed the movement and turned her head to face him.

"Hey, Theo," she said evenly.

"Hey, Andy," he responded in kind, willing his voice to remain calm. "Why don't you come down from there and we can talk?"

Andy sat still and quiet long enough that Theo wondered if she had heard him, and he debated asking again, but just as he was about to repeat himself, she spoke.

"Ok," she said, her face showing little emotion. She thrust the tequila bottle toward him, and when he took it, she swung her legs back around and slid to the ground.

While he was tempted to put his arm around her and lead her off the bridge, he knew he should make it her choice.

"It's a little chilly up here," Theo began. "My car is parked not too far from here. Why don't we go talk there?"

Andy simply nodded and began to walk slowly off the bridge, Theo by her side. As they walked, Theo spotted a trashcan and dropped the liquor bottle into it. He glanced at Andy, wondering if she would react, but she didn't even seem to notice. When they made it back to his car, Andy sat in the passenger seat, staring blankly out the window.

"I'm going to make a few calls," Theo said gently, but if his words registered, Andy gave no response.

Theo's years as a Seattle First Responder had allowed him to become friendly with the local emergency room doctors and nurses. It only took a few calls before he had the name and number of a counselor at a behavioral health treatment center who was willing to complete an intake interview with Andy. From there, things moved quickly. They admitted Andy on a 72-hour hold, and Theo made a quick stop back at the station to get some clothes and a few toiletries from her locker. He took her car key and promised he would get her car back to the apartment she was sharing with Maya and Carina.