Memories Never to Forget

POV

My hands were trembling, tears kept running down my cheeks, legs were unable to move. My heart kept pounding as the noise got louder and louder from the other room. I wished I wasn't here. I wish I could run away and hide somewhere where no one can find me. I kept saying that in my head but nothing changed. The footsteps ended up coming closer to me, alerting my senses to find under my sheets and pretend I was asleep. The footsteps stopped in front of my door as another pair came closer and stopped them. They continue to scream and argue with one another, making me feel uneasy and frightened. My phone then rings as I look at it and manage to smile a bit. Chan's Room. I clicked on it and watched a person called Bangchan whose real name is Christopher go live. He's the reason why I manage to stand through this for so long. I continued to watch silently before my door opened up, forcing me to jump in fright before being dragged off my bed onto the floor.

"Get up!" The man yelled at me who I no longer call father said as he looked at me filled with anger in his eyes.

I got up with shaky legs as if they were going to break from fear. I looked at him but not directly at his eyes.

He began screeching about how my mother and I are bossy, lazy people that do nothing but bother him for things he does. He continued out and I didn't pay attention to him. Everything he says is a lie. My mother and I work hard every day, 8 hours a day, no day off to pay the rent together and to have food on our table while this man does nothing but watch television all day or not be at home at all and come back past midnight either hanging out with friends or just trying to look for work but backstabbed just visiting other family members and not helping us earn a living. We work so hard to keep things in place for us to survive and he argues about how he finds that being bossy to him. He makes things too hard for us.

"Are you even listening to me?!"

I snapped out of my rage and looked him directly in his eyes for the first time today. He noticed that I wasn't paying attention to him earlier and looked at me seriously.

"What were you thinking about as I talked to you and your mother about your attitudes lately?" He looked at me, curious yet furious too.

"N-nothing" I stuttered, trying to hide my fear and rage.

He looked around my bed and saw my phone was on, playing Chan's live. He quietly walks over to my bed, picks up my phone, and shows it to me.

"I see that you don't care what I say," he says as he turns off my phone and puts it down. "You just want to do whatever you want and not care what I think."

He looks at me but I look away, not wanting to make eye contact at all.

"You know I love you both right?" He suddenly says. "I may be mean, loud, bossy myself sometimes but I feel like you guys don't care if I rot away."

I still couldn't look at him. My mom walks over to him and sits him down.

"I know you've been having a hard time since you've lost your job honey but please, don't take it out on us," she cried. "Let's do it together as a family."

Family, hearing that word made me feel a mixture of many feelings; disgust, anger, joy, sadness, then loneliness. I can't accept it.

He looked at me once more and smiled at me, giving me goosebumps.

"Let's try to be a family once again Emma."

It's been a while since I've heard him say my name. I didn't know what to say. I felt like if I accepted it, I'd end up believing in a fantasy that doesn't exist and end up getting backstabbed in the end. I took my phone and walked away from them to the door.

"No," I told them. "I don't want to."

His reaction changed back to how it was before. He got up and walked over to me.

"What did you say?" He asked me angrily yet a sense of woe appeared in the end but I didn't give in.

"I said no!" I yelled and ran out of the room to get out of the house. I ran nonstop, not looking back if he or my mother was following me, not even caring it was pouring heavily outside. I don't believe you. I don't believe in that fantasy. Nothing you've promised has been kept. I stopped at an alley and cried as the rain hit my body, shivering my fear and soul away. I heard my mother and father calling my name but I kept running from them. As I reached a dry area where the rain couldn't hit me, I sat down and became a doll for a few seconds, emotionless, thoughtless. I turned on my phone to see if I could make a call to a friend of mine but saw that Chan was still alive. Thinking of him always made me feel better so I clicked on it and watched it. You always appear to me when I'm down. I smiled and felt a bit relieved. Thank you Chan for appearing today. As I was about to take off his live, my father appeared in front of me.

"I finally found you," he coughed, out of breath and shivering from the coldness of the rain.

I didn't think but just got up and ran. He was right behind me. I had nowhere to hide. I hid behind trash cans but knew he'll find me soon. Please don't let him find me. I can't face him. I don't want to lose hope. I cried once more. My tears hit my phone as I held it in my hands. Without looking, it turned on and showed a blue and white swirl on the screen. I saw and looked at it as writing appeared on it.

Would you like to run away?

Confused by the weird pop-up and thought I must have clicked on an ad or something but I couldn't take it off the screen. Then a yes and a no appeared to click on.

We can take you somewhere where you will be happy.

It continued, scaring me a bit yet curious about it. I clicked yes on it, wondering what it would do. More options appeared saying, you shall be taken to another place where you shall be happy. I looked around, thinking maybe something would happen but nothing did. Silly me, don't use ads to make your worries go away. Footsteps were getting closer so I tried to crawl away but then another pop appeared.

You will be happy but you will be sad. Everything that you know will be forgotten and erased, leaving you miserable and lost on your own will.
Words will appear from different times, confusing yourself and if you made the right choice or not. You cannot go back now.

My phone then started vibrating and suddenly started a countdown. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, pop appeared knowing what was going to happen, I closed my eyes, fearing that I would be found and fear of what might happen. My head began to pound like crazy, making me feel dizzy and sick. I screamed from the pain but no one could hear me. I felt like I was being forced through a small tunnel that was squishing me tightly as I continued to go through it. I continued to scream from the pain until I no longer felt it. I felt empty abruptly. My mind and body felt light yet heavy at the same time. My eyes stayed closed as if I was trapped in myself.