Deviant Little Psycho

Before

The small pink butterfly dances across the space in front of me, my chubby seven year old hands reaching for it but hesitating before capturing it.

I didn't want to squish her.

Mommy says its not nice to squish pretty things. Daddy always laughed when she said that. That laugh always gave me little bumps pop up on my skin and make me shiver.

Goose bumps, Bubby calls them.

I can't help but giggle at that name. I couldn't have goose bumps, I'm not a big squawking birdy.

I'm Vanessa, or Nessy as Bubby calls me.

A dull thud sounds from inside and a shout pours through the cracks in the doors.

"You fucking bitch!" A voice growls.

The sound of a door sliding open and then footsteps before my big brother's shadow passes over me.

I look up over at him, staring at the face of a ten year old with a faded sort of light shining in his eyes. The eyes of a boy that had seen and learned much more than any ten year old should.

I forgot the pretty butterfly and turned to Bubby, reaching for him.

His cold gaze flickered over me before softening. He moves to sit next to me, wrapping an arm around my little shoulders.

"It's okay, Nessy. It will be over soon and we can go back in."

I let my lips pucker into a pout. "But I don't wanna go back in Bubby. It's so loud in there."

It was more than the shattering of glass or shouts of another argument that I meant. It was the tension that built and resonated in the house that couldn't have been cut with chainsaw.

It was suffocating and deadly with intent.

One day it would shatter and things would never be the same.

Bubby's ice blue eyes search my face for something before he turns back to face the setting sun and sighs heavily. "I know but it will be okay."

And I believed him for a time...

Until I didn't.