There is something heavily misplaced in my soul. I have an toxic relationship with it. I can sense its evil intentions brewing in me all the time. And yet, it brings me comfort. It's like a warm cat sat upon my lap to bite my hand but I don't even care because I could use the company on this rainy day. I walk to school while the cat gnaws. I could've taken the bus but what fun would that be? Besides, the cat seems to like the rain.
9 AM
I sit in my advisory class like nothing is wrong with me. I flash a smile at the friends I have that have never really known me. Not really, anyway. I am hungry. The cat purrs. It feels disdainful. I can wait 'till lunch.
10 AM
I walk into the dreaded math classroom. I can hardly ever think. Sure, I am an academic person. I care about my grades, been described as a "joy to have in class". However, something about these particular numbers on this particular day make my head hurt. I sigh and try my hardest, but I can't help but pet the cat.
11 AM
The cat is crying for a morsel of food. Yet I feel it almost taunting me. As if I were to give it food the cat would think of me as a fool. Sluggish, gluttonous fool. I wait. Soon will come lunch. A fateful everyday decision that further rots my steadily dying brain.
Lunch
I feel the judging eyes of my classmates as I sit down with my plate of food. The cat meows. I make a point not to touch the tray. My stomach growls. A farce. I sit and chew the dead skin on my lip as my stomach eats itself. I am relieved. I have barely noticed a person sit down in front of me. They look worried.
"Are you okay?" They ask. What a ridiculous question. There could only be one answer for a person like me.
"Yes." I lie.
Anyone couldn't help but notice they were beautiful. Skinny, brown eyes, 4c hair styled into braids with colorful beads on the ends. I wouldn't mind if they sat with me forever, yet their concerned stare is still boring through my thick skull. Finally, their next sentence penetrates the dead minute-long silence. "You should eat something." They whisper-yell. Pleading, yet mysteriously authoritative. I would kill to let them look at me forever. The cat is yowling. I can feel its growing hate for the caring person in front me. I stop stroking the cat.
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thinspiration
Teen Fictiona person with an unspecified eating disorder falls in love with somebody despite their struggles. heavily based on my own experience and mostly written for me to feel as though I am lovable. potentially triggering read tags. ALSO this is a story abo...
