Little widow

Chapter 9

"Hey! Is it bad timing?" I heard May say as soon as I accepted the call

"No no I just had to find a quiet place" I answered with a small smile on my face. I put her on speaker and lay down on my bed. I turned my face and saw all the papers I had read last night and soon the warm feeling in my chest went away and a knot took its place. I still hadn't decided if I wanted to tell May and Peter about the whole situation or if I wanted to keep it down for now. 

"So how's Budapest?" May's voice took me out of my panic circle. 

"Honestly pretty nice but God it's freezing down here how do people casually do their lives when your fingers look like goddamn popsicle . . . How's everything going? Are you guys okay?" 

"Of course we are okay! We miss you but we aren't the ones who travelled half of the globe to look for our grandma" she said perfectly knowing I was panicking about something. 

I didn't realise until now that I travelled half of the world with no guarantee of finding someone. I also realised that I never told May and Peter about Melina. 

"I found her, I found Melina," I said when that same warm comfort feeling came back to my chest

"Really? That fast? I'm impressed you're really your mom's daughter" she exclaimed 

"It wasn't that hard, Clint's pieces of information were correct I just had to find the building" 

"And among all of Budapest's buildings, you found the right one that easily?" 

"Once I went into the city everything looked familiar like if I had already been there. I just walk in the streets and waited to find one that was looking familiar" 

"You still found a building in a capital with zero information that's pretty impressive Ostara" 

"When I found it I had like a vision or a memory of my childhood that's how I found the apartment. Nobody was there so I went in. My mom knew I would end up there one day and left me a letter telling me how to find Melina. Even after her death, she keeps saving me" I felt a small tear falling on my cheek. I didn't want to cry today. I already cried enough so I wiped out and changed the subject back to May and Peter. "What's new in New York? How was Peter's prom? I wanted to ask him but I completely forgot." 

"New York is fine from what I know. Maybe Spiderman knows something I don't but it looks pretty calm. MJ invited Peter before he could invite her. He was so nervous about stepping on her toes during the dance. It was so cute. I'll send you pics so you'll be able to tease him."

"May you're the best" 

"And you, how everything is going with your Grandma? Is she nice? And more importantly, where are you living? Not in the old apartment right?"

I chuckled "No no I'm living with Melina she had an extra room. She is very nice. She cared deeply about my mom and Yelena. I can feel that."

"I'm sure she'll love you so much when she'll know you better because you're one of the sweetest and smartest people on this earth. You deserve all the love of the world" she answered lovingly. She continued "Ostara I don't know if I ever told you that but thank you for letting me taking care of you. With Peter, you're the best things that ever happened to me" I can hear her voice filling with emotion and her hands wiping tears from her face.

"Are you kidding? I am the one who has to thank you for taking care of me. You helped me when I had nobody, you're my hero May. Thank you" 

I know May enough to describe exactly the face she was making. She had her eyes closed and a sweet awkward smile on her face. 

"Ostara listen it's quite late here so I have to go  but I'm so proud of you and just know that I might not be a trained assassin but if this woman ever hurt you I'm gonna kill her" 

I softly chuckled "That's very nice offer but she'll never do such a thing she's very nice when you get under her scary mask"

"Nice but I'm not joking I'll show her what Queen's women can do. See you soon kiddo and try to enjoy your family"

"Thanks May, I love you sleep well" 

"Love you too and go eat breakfast little widow" she hung out. 

Nobody ever called me like that before and I must say I like it. As a kid, mom's friends were calling me little Nat but widow seems more appropriate now for several reasons. I fall back in my bed watching the ceiling as if this one was going to answer all of my questions. I did what I always used to do when I had questions. I looked for my mom's number on my phone. I couldn't erase her number, it would feel like erasing her. I pressed "call", it rang and for one moment I hoped to hear her saying "hey peas is everything alright?". It went on voicemail and that was the first time I heard my mom's voice since she passed away. I was about to hang up when I realised that it wouldn't hurt anyone to just "talk" to my mom, so that's what I did. 

"Hi, mom! It's me, Ostara. I know you can't really listen to that voicemail but I really need to talk to you. I miss you so much, I never thought it would be so hard not having you by my side. Thank you for saving the world, thank you for saving me in all ways I could have been saved. You're the strongest, bravest and kindest person I ever met, if I could be just half as much as what you were I would be so proud. I don't know how you did to go all day looking like everything was totally normal and under control, just after one month without you, I thought I was going to die as well. But I kept doing it for you because I know you would have wanted me to.
I stayed for a bit with May and Peter, you know the spidey boy who stole Steve's shield at the airport. May is his aunt, she reminds me of you, she is badass and lovely. I couldn't have hoped for a nicer family. I wish you could have met her, I'm sure you would have gotten along very well. She helped me find Melina. I'm currently at her place and by the way, thank you for the note and the necklace they saved my life. . .  Literally. She was pretty cold at first, she went all widow's mode. I can't be mad, I would have done the same thing if someone was in my garden reminding me of my dead daughter. But she got softer eventually. You were right she is very nice and I like her a lot. She helped me with something else. You remember the birthmark I had on my arm? Well it turns out it wasn't a birthmark but a scare that Red Room's scientists gave me when they put a sort of chip. Because guess what, I'm like aunty Wanda. I have powers. So far it seems to be pretty cool but I know it can be dangerous. I saw what Wanda's could do. I'm glad Melina was able to deactivate the chip because I'm finished with Red Room once and for all. But the more I think about it the more I think I don't want to use them, I don't want to hurt someone accidentally and I don't want people to use them as a weapon. If I use them it would be just for fun like bringing something closer or playing with colours around my fingers nothing more.
What do you think about it ? Is it a bad idea ? Should I use them to help people like you did with your abilities? 
Yeah, I'm silly you can't answer that. 
Anyway, I love you, I hope you're happy and that you find peace wherever you are. I'll visit you as soon as I get back to Ohio. I miss you bye" 

I hung up and wiped the tears on my face. I went to the bathroom to put some water on to try to mitigate the red puffy eyes. After ten minutes my face was back to normal so I went back to the kitchen to have breakfast with Melina. She had prepared some peanut butter sandwiches and some tea. She turned to face me "I heard you talking to your mom so I figured it out you might need something comforting"

I approached her and hugged her tightly "Thank you that's exactly what I needed. Thank you for everything". She hugged me back and a smile appeared on my face where tears used to be a few minutes before.