Gay Dads are online

Bold of you to assume

CottageButch: D'ya ever just suddenly remember the moment

when you wondered why you loved someone,

And then you realize the same reason you asked that is part of why you did in the first place

and just react so hard?

NoSleep-Coffee: Yes.

Once I saw my crush fricking yeet a textbook at this really annoying dude

Several times he's just like, laid on the floor because annoying dude's brother was being awful

and then proceeded to pretend to be the tiles

He sits on cabinets all the time

And he can be so wholesome yet so terrifying within the same three minutes.

CottageButch: That's really cute!

For me, it was when me, my twin brother and my crush all said the exact same comeback at the same time.

NoSleep-Coffee: You have a twin?

CottageButch: Yes, now hush and listen.

Anyways, some stuck up adult was being snobbish and asked the three of us

'Did your parents drop you on the head when you were born?'

All three of us looked at each other and simultaneously said

'Bold of you to assume they ever held us'

OH. MY. TSUNAMIS. their face was SATISFYING

And the three of us laughed afterward.

NoSleep-Coffee: Executive decision, boo.

I'm your older overprotective brother now

Same goes for your twin and your crush too.

CottageButch: 1) who says you're older than me?

2) My twin is like- have you ever read Percy Jackson? Like Nico with Frank's heart but the overprotectiveness and barriers of like, Percy himself. Except instead of jokes it's murderous intent.

NoSleep-Coffee: Boo, I can handle that.

We have to deal with a melodramatic 'prince' and his trash gremlin of a twin.

CottageButch: gAASP! HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE ADORABLE GREMLINS

NoSleep-Coffee: Wait, what do gremlins look like where you're from?

CottageButch: They've been compared to puppies

with an intense love for pulling stuff apart with their hands

Like, they would make good pets, just destructive if not well handled

NoSleep-Coffee: Well, my crush would probably take my coffee away

if I insulted dog-adjacent beings

Any replacement insults you have?

CottageButch: Verminions are these mainly carnivorous death hamsters covered in fluff that keep the rotting prey in their mouths for future snacks.