𝐧𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲, 𝐧𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞- 𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧

22.

I always thought that I would hate Rafe forever. I wasn't sure when I exactly fell in love with him, but I knew I was now. I knew it wouldn't always be beautiful. He was a walking panic attack. One wrong thing and he would explode. But he could be careful when you got to know him. It was hard to convince him to let his guard down, but when he did it was everything compared to everyone else.

Rafe was always Ward's minion. He was on his side, not Sarah's and possibly not mine. Not the whole time, at least. He did what his father asked him to do and Ward took advantage of that. Sarah was the opposite, going against both her father and her brother. The only person in the family she liked was Wheezie.

Rafe was beside me, he arms wrapped around my waist. Waking up this morning was a relief without anymore worrying. Sarah was upset, but she didn't regret what she did. Now everything is off of our backs.

Rafe brushed a piece of hair out of my face, smiling lazily. "You're so beautiful."

I smiled, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. I never wanted to leave this spot. It was warm, comfortable, and protective. Being in Rafe's arms was something I never expected. Even more unexpected when he gently placed soft kisses on my shoulder up to my cheek before he got out of bed in only a pair of boxers.

I groaned from his loss of touch and warmth, stirring in the bed to watch him pull on a pair of sweatpants. I pulled the covers up to my chin, covering myself from the chilly air. I was only wearing a pair of underwear and one of Rafe's oversized shirts, too comfortable to get out of bed.

Sarah had run off again with her Pogue friends, dumping Topper behind her. Ward still never showed up in the course of a few days, confirming his death. I wasn't sure how to tell her about Rafe after she was ranting about her getting back with John B. So for now, we kept quiet.

"Can't we stay in bed?" I whined.

Rafe stretched, giving into my request. Whatever he had in mind he pushed aside, deciding it could wait. We stayed in each other's arms for what felt like forever. There was nothing for me to do today and staying here sounded like the best option.

"I'm hungry." Rafe groaned lowly, twisting himself so he was laying on his back. His head shifted to the side where he was looking at me. "Pancakes?"

I didn't want to go downstairs. Not with Rose in the house, but she was everywhere. She suspected something was up with Rafe and I, and not that we were exactly secretive about it, I just thought she would be dumber than that. She still made me mad with every glance she gave Rafe no matter how sorry she pretended to be.

As if reading my mind, he smiled. "Rose isn't here."

I agreed, slipping out of the bed. The wooden floor was definitely colder than I expected, but I followed Rafe downstairs anyway. Before, I hated Rafe, but I had to admit that he was a good chef. Spending the night with Sarah was fun, but the breakfast was a bonus. He'd be making some for himself until Rose would force him into making some for all of us. I always pretended to hate his food, and he always acted like he spit in mine, but if I couldn't taste it then it was good enough for me.

"I always knew you liked my pancakes." He teased, flipping the pancake on the other side.

"Tell me the truth. Did you actually spit in my food?" I came up behind him, wrapping my arms around him. His back was warm and comfortable that I could probably fall asleep standing up. I was so tired from the last few days.

"Once." He admitted. "Sarah caught me and kept a close eye on me since."

I scoffed, hitting his shoulder. "I had a feeling you weren't lying."

We ate in silence for a short time. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I went through more pancakes than Rafe was happy to make. He didn't say it though, but he wasn't very good at hiding his emotions either.

"You know, I thought we could go out to eat, but I suppose you wouldn't want to?" Rafe put our plates and silverware into the dishwasher before spinning around to face me.

"Is that your way of asking me out on a real date?" I smirked.

"Well..." he cringed, making me guess he wasn't very good at asking girls out. He may be attractive, but his personality probably scared half the girls away.

"I figured our first date was McDonalds." I sat back, watching his smile fade.

I probably shouldn't have said that, but in my mind I thought it would make him laugh. Thought that making light out of the situation, but I suppose there wasn't really any light to salvage or even to find to begin with.

He leaned against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm not mad about it." He confessed.

"Hm?" I hummed.

"I'm not mad we did it." He repeated, coming to sit in front of me. "He wasn't a good person."

I knew that from the start. But it was still horrifying to take someones life whether they deserved it or not. I had a feeling Rafe never cared especially after learning about the others he's dealt with, but hearing him say it was strange.

"We all die at some point." He stood up again. "He chose how he wanted to go."

This was the insane part of Rafe, but he didn't mind. It was like second nature to him to speak like this. Probably something his father convinced him once. The way he told me about Peterkin, he had a reason to kill her too. Both times he killed someone, or helped, it was to protect the people he loved. First his father, now me.

"Let's change the topic." I cleared away the conversation I wish I never started, "how about that date?"

Rafe shook his head, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. "I'm sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. Come on." I took his arm, dragging him back upstairs.

"Hey, hey." Rafe stopped us, his hands placed on my shoulders. He was looking into my eyes, so deeply I was scared to hear what he had to say. "I will do anything to protect you, Atallia. Okay?"

I furrowed, searching his eyes for some sort of joke. When I couldn't find one, and he wouldn't laugh or break his act, I nodded. "Okay."

"Okay." He whispered, kissing my forehead as he let me go. He walked up the steps, leaving me speechless at the bottom.

This will be a bumpy ride for sure, but starting with therapy might not be a bad idea for him. Except I probably sound too much like Rose because Sarah was always blabbing about how much Rafe got mad at Rose for even suggesting therapy for him. That should've been my first hint that Rafe was never okay, but at the time I thought it was funny he was so insane that his stepmom wanted to send him to therapy.

"Fuck." I mumbled, dragging myself up the steps.

I stood in the doorframe, meeting Rafe's eyes from his position on the bed. I smiled, earning a smile back. And suddenly I forgot every single worrying thing about how messy this relationship could be. Cause from the moment I crawled into Rafe's bed, or I guess I should say, the moment I agreed for Rafe to help me, I was doomed to begin with.

authors note !

Last part guys!! I kinda wanna continue it but I also have no idea what s3 will be like so I'm not sure how I would set it up or if Atallia will somehow end up in the Bahamas with him, but meh. I don't want to wait for s3 either. This was only supposed to be a short book but I fell in love with it.

Also, I heard Rafe is supposed to get a love interest in s3? Umm, that man should be getting therapy first... or maybe that's just the jealous side of me speaking.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this book as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you for your time! 🥰