A World of Our Own

Ring of Fire

Kim looked out over the river as the sun came up to greet the day.  How did things get to be so wrong?  She had gone from introducing her 34 year old ex-boyfriend to her parents as her 20 year old boyfriend to being publicly humiliated at her cousin's graduation party.  If that had been the end of it, then things would have been manageable.  But no, life doesn't give it to you easy when you make a mistake.

All weekend long, she heard it from her family.  Her grandmother belittled her by calling her such things as slut and whore.  Her mother kept accusing Billy of just wanting to have sex with her.  She even went as far as saying that the reason why Billy wasn't coming was purely for the fact that he couldn't "get any action".  Not like Billy was smart enough to know that if he had dared even cross the state line into Ohio, that he would be arrested or killed.  Her little sister did seem to feel sad that Billy wasn't coming.  No matter what,  a sister is a sister and she knew Kim was happy when she talked with Billy.  The worst one was her father.  He would suggest that Billy wanted to take her to Delaware and turn her into his sex toy for the year.  She had barely graduated because of how school had burned her out and yet the reason she was taking a year off school was to chase after a dick in Delaware?  Please.  If she wanted just dick, then she would go get it.  

It was annoying and it made her not sleep the night before her party.  So she went out for a walk and ended up sitting by the river.  The sun came up to meet the day and with it thoughts that were not going anywhere any time soon.

As she watched the growing light reflect off the water, she thought of Billy again.  Even if she did want him, he lied.  What else could be be hiding from her?  For all she knew, he could have a wife and kids and she could just be a side piece.  She could just be an online conquest to him.  For all of this, why did she still want him?  Why did she still yearn for his arms around her?  Why did she still want to spend her nights laying her head over his heart so she could fall asleep listening to the rhythm of his heart?  Why can't she ever have him?  

<Billy's POV>

Billy stared at the ceiling for what seemed like the millionth night in a row.  Ever since the night that Kim had told him to stay away, everything just seemed off.  He couldn't sleep.  He couldn't focus on the things that he needed to get done.  He couldn't even eat.  His appetite was almost non-existent and what he did eat tasted terrible, as if everything was rotten.

He hadn't spoken to her since he got home.  In fact, he had not spoken to anyone since the moment he turned his car east.  His mind was only able to focus on her.  All the pain he caused her.  All the embarrassment she felt from what her dad made her have to do.  He felt like he was only causing her pain by being in her life.  Maybe he should leave her alone.  It would be for the best for her.  

But he still wanted her.  He wanted to be the one that she could turn to whenever she needed.  He wanted her in his arms every night.  Everything that they had discussed while they were together were dreams that he wanted.  But dreams are just that, dreams.  And just like every dream you can ever have, you have to wake up sometime.

This was the wake-up.  

<Kim's POV>

Kim's graduation party was a nightmare.  As much as she enjoyed seeing some of her high school friends for the last time, and as much as she made out like a bandit with the gifts that she was given, it didn't feel right.  She felt like something wasn't right.  Something was missing, or someONE was missing.  How many times did she look at an empty chair expecting to see the smiling face of her idiot?  How many times did she turn to the direction she thought his voice had come from?  More than she could count.  

The bright spot of her day was Dallas.  It was like he had known what she was thinking and that he was helping to lessen the pain that she felt tugging at her chest.  When she was around him, Billy was on her mind less.  Maybe it was because of how similar they were.  The comforting feeling that she got from Dallas was so soothing.