Dawn | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

9 | Sobs

This story is not intended to promote actions/behaviors such as suicide, self-harm, abuse of any form, substance abuse, violence, or murder.

"Mom," sighed Natsuo, "I... Take a deep breath. I know it's stressful, and you just want to see him happy again, but think about yourself too. Things are gonna change, and Shouto's changing too. Growing up has been tough on him, but he's strong, Mom. I know he wants you to be happy too."

Todoroki silently exhaled from behind a wall nearby his mother and brother. What kind of son...am I? Even when I think about the things that are probably aggregating like bullets in her chest, I just can't relate. If I was in her place but still whatever makes up 'I,' I...wouldn't care that my son is doing all these things. I really was just a mistake.

Rei replied, "I don't think...h-he even realizes how sick he is. It's...not normal. I... I talk to him, but I feel like I'm talking to my memories of Shouto instead. Where did my son go? What did my husband do to my son? My family? I-I... Shouto isn't normal. I can't bear to look at him... My son... If I had never poured—"

Finally, Todoroki stepped out from behind the wall and approached his mother, who was on her hands and knees on the floor. Natsuo kneeled beside her, and he stayed his eyes on the floor.

Sick... I'm oblivious to how sick I am? No. That's not it. I won't say I'm normal, but this is just who I am. But if this is how you really think...

"Would you be happier if I disappeared?" Todoroki inquired without so much as a blink interrupting his words.

Heavy chains of silence perched on the shoulders of Rei and Natsuo for a few seconds before Rei's gray eyes were drowned with crystalline crescents. "Shouto, wh-what...do you mean?" Rei asked as she lifted her head, revealing her pin-pricked pupils to Todoroki.

Natsuo covered his mouth with his hand and hung his head. His eyes twitched, and his brows were squinted down.

Standing inches away from his mother and brother, Todoroki candidly queried, "Mom, do you think I'm better off dead?"

A breathless gasp cut the ephemeral interlude of silence as Rei stuttered, "Sh-Shouto..." Ragged and choppy, her voice sounded like it had been shredded over a set of jagged rocks. "I-I..."

Todoroki covered the burn mark over his left eye with his hand. "Sorry. You probably don't want to see this." He descried his brother, who was shakily staggering up to his feet. "Natsu?" His eyes widened as Natsuo promptly embraced him, dragging his weight to the floor once his knees buckled.

Just answer me, Todoroki thought to himself as his mother wrapped her arms around both him and Natsuo. I heard what you said, and it sounds like all I'm doing is making your life hell. What a waste of my time. I should've gone back to bed.

"Unbearable."

As the sobs of Todoroki's mother and brother saturated his shirt, he thought, Does she think she made me want to die? I just can't escape from being selfish. I don't care if I am, but this isn't how I used to be. He did not return the visceral, unadulterated love that his family insinuated him into. My mother is sobbing again because of me. My brother is sobbing for the first time I've seen in a long time in front of me. Yet...just like Katsuki, they're not letting me go.

Rei lifted her head, and with glistening, swollen eyes of gray, she glimpsed into the eyes of her youngest son. "I don't...think that at all," she gasped; her hoarse voice was just above a whisper. "I love you so much, Shouto... I-I love you so much... More than anyone in this world, I love you the most." Her sobs rang in Todoroki's ears.

I heard what you said before, Mom. How do you expect me to believe this? I can't understand how this would be true. Are you pitying me? Enough.

Natsuo nodded against Todoroki's shoulder. "Do you know how devastated...and broken we would be if you left us? Shouto, we love you..."

Do you think 'I love you' is suddenly going to change my world? It doesn't mean anything to me. Do you think this hug suddenly erases how I think? It's pointless now. Do you think you're helping me here? Frankly, you're wasting my time. Maybe I am sick. What the hell am I sick with?

Although Natsuo was still speaking, Todoroki stood up to his feet, breaking away from the people that loved him. For a while, he simply stood there, staring at nothing in particular. His family called his name, but whether or not he heard them was unknown.

Todoroki closed his eyes for a moment, and then, he turned around and stepped past his mother and his brother. "I guess this isn't a movie," he sighed with words devoid of emotion. "You can't win every war with love and tears. Mom, Natsu... Don't get the wrong idea: it's not that I want to die. It's not that at all." With that, Todoroki walked away, leaving his weeping family on the floor behind him.