imagines

fuck he feels so good

"Fuck you're so pretty when you cry."
he whispers, cocking his head and smirking. You hated it when he did that. It was also one of your favorite little mannerisms of his.

"Wh- sniff what..?" you stutter, too out of it to curse yourself for doing so. He shakes his head, chuckling at you for some reason. (you assume its for your stupidity. maybe he even takes pity on you.)

"Don't worry about it, darling. Now who did this to you?" he pushes himself off the wall, hands still in his pockets staring at you with eyes you couldn't decipher.

"Fuck off. And i'm not your darling." in all actuality you adored the nickname. But you'd never admit that. Neither would he admit he loved your brattiness. "No one did anything. Im just being sensitive. I'm.. I'm fine." Wow great job, real convincing.

"Oh you know me so well. And how I love to be lied to." he said sarcastically, (if that wasn't obvious) falling on your bed. It had become your best friend especially this past week. Your pillow (or at least one of them) has been tear stained from you. You need to wash it probably but its comforting to know that something, anything would be with you through this whole thing. "Its pathetic, really that you still dont trust me after all this time."

That got your attention. "I mean it, fuck off. I dont want to deal with this right now. especially not with you." your words were harsh, youd both admit that. But you didnt care. You needed to be alone.

"Oh, come on now.. dont be like that darling. Just give me a name. Ill fuck em up for you, promise." you kept your gaze fixated on him, expression unchanging from your furrowed brows and screwed face.

"Why are you so adamant on doing things for me? What did I ever do for you, huh? This whole conversation ive been saying hurtful things and your still here.... Hugging my pillows, on my bed." you say with realization while yanking your pillow away from him. Your special pillow. Special to you, at least. He puts his hands up in defense.

"How 'bout I tell you when your older." you scoff, shaking your head and snuggling up to your pillow.

"You're only like a year and a half older than me." specifically 1 year, 3 weeks and a day but whos counting. Wait why are you counting that..?

"Ohhh are you keepin tabs on me now, doll?" you fight the urge to roll your eyes and decide to plop down on your bed, utterly exhausted from stress and tears. "Now tell me whats wrong. Im not leaving till you spill it."

You groan into your pillow muttering out a "Fine."  He watches you closely as you sit back up and plant yourself against the wall. "I.. am.. worried..." he nods and hums, urging you to go on. Its always been this hard to voice your thoughts and feelings. Ever since you were a kid you were taught that they didnt matter; that you were just crazy for thinking things. "That I.. am just a placeholder." you brace yourself for a laugh, maybe even a chuckle. But nothing. He's just staring at you. Anger blossoming in his features. At you..? No.. Never.

"Come here." He said in a disciplinary tone, arms wide, for you. And only you. It was only ever for you. You reluctantly fall into his lap, not yet excepting a full on embrace. He puts his hands through your hair, scratching your head in all the right places. You never knew how he could find your weak spots so easily but you wanted more. More of his touch. More of his endless teasing. More of him... More..of him..?

"Im sorry you feel that way darling. And damn whoever put that thought in that pretty little head of yours. But you are nothing but a good person and a good friend and you should be valued as such, yknow that? Hell, youre probably the best thing thats ever happened to me personally. And I would never let that go. Id never let you go." tears started streaming down your face again, finding refuge in your ears and hair. It was definitely uncomfortable but you couldnt find the strength to care.