Shahrzad

Chapter 1: Look what I found

I have no energy to do anything today. I don't want to do anything, I don't even want to read Thousand and One Night to Sarvenaz (my Granddaughter). I usually read it to her, I've been reading it to her since she was born, you could say for about 16 years now. She came and already asked me to read it to her but I said no for the first time in 16 years. I had a dream about Farhad last night, I think that's why it made me si depressed today, that man was the love of my life. At about 3 to 4 decades ago I lost two people whom I cared about a lot; that's a whole story that I dont want to talk about. I've had many regrets in my life but one thing I have regretted the most was not appreciating one's love for me. 

I get out of my bed and go to get a glass of water when I hear Nazy (Sarvenaz) calling me. "Mamani, is this you?" she asks very curiously, I have no idea what she's talking about. "What?" I ask "Look" she points to the picture "This woman who's wearing the Amen bird necklace, is that you?" she says looking at me putting my hand on my chest feeling the empty space of the necklace. "Mamani?" she's really confused, "uh... give me a minute" I suddenly feel uneasy; I go into my bedroom looking for the necklace through all my drawers. I find a piece of paper with "The Amen bird" written on it. I find my necklace in between. 

The amen bird is in pain, 
he has remained silent
The amen bird 
He has traveled to the other side of his land of injustice
His courage is destroyed by exhaustion
He is no longer in the mood for feeding himself
He is stuck for a solution for the day of freedom
The amen bird
The amen bird, the amen bird
The suffered one connects the people to each other (the pains and wishes of people)
He takes the burden of damage and pain away from their backs (by being a sympathizer at their pain)
The amen bird He draws the unspoken wishes and demands near each other
The amen bird 

It's the poem Farhad wrote for me in 1974, I can't believe I still have it, I can't believe I still have the necklace, I think Homeira (my sister) fixed it because he ripped it. I forgot the fact that I just left the living room looking like a ghost. I make my way back to the living room in hopes of trying to explain what I did.

I sit next to her on the couch, "Nazy, I think it's time I told you the story of my life from A-Z" She looks at me in shock "Why all of the sudden?" she looks very confused. "Because I think you're old enough to know some things".