𝗥𝗲𝗱 𝗙𝗹𝗮𝗴𝘀

𝖡𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾

𝙼𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢𝚗𝚗
2 months later

"Girl where are you?" I asked Kamarilynn on the phone my brother and the girls were already here in the doctors office waiting for the gender results.

I was officially four months and depressed as hell. My baby daddy wanted absolutely nothing to do with me so he's been avoiding me blocked me on everything and I'm not even allowed to see Rome.

"I'm sorry I'm stuck in traffic I'm only two miles away just have me on speaker and I'll meet you there." Kamarilynn spoke.

"Okay doc tell me what it is." I said trying to hold a smile on my face. I wasn't very happy my body was changing and although I was gaining hips and ass I felt so unimportant and unloved even tho everyone was here Berlin and Rome weren't and that hurt the more I dwelled on it the more depressed I got.

"Well it's been a long four months but I'm happy to say it's a Girl." The doctor said. I found myself smiling just a little I wasn't too happy or mad just in the middle.

"Yayyy a lil neice you got a name in mind?" Tati asked.

"Yea any name thoughts?" Maycii asked rubbing her belly. She was having a boy and she already had his name.

"Um I was thinking her name would be Spirit." I said chewing the inside of my lip I had a feeling I'd get bashed.

"You been listening to Beyoncé spirit for four months straight that's your inspiration?" Kamarilynn asked on the phone.

"Yeah and the song kinda helps me you guys know this pregnancy is actually really hard and depressing for me." I said honestly.

"I don't hate it I like it Spirit and Keive they gonna be boyfriend and girlfriend make sure your daughter not fresh my son can't have no babies." Maycii said joking. I let out a little laugh and watched my brother come over and rub my tummy.

"When I see your baby daddy Ima kill him." He spoke kissing my cheek before explaining that he had to meet up with his girlfriend to go to her daughter's graduation.

"Yea let's walk you to your car sis." Tati said helping me up from the bedspread and walking to the parking lot.

"I just wish he would be there." I said shaking my head feeling a tear drop from my eyes.

"Hey fuck him he's childish as hell you don't chase after a woman just to leave her in the end if he really loved you he'd say fuck the mistake I have a child to raise an a family to make." Tati said shaking her head.

She went through a similar situation with her fiancé when she first got pregnant with Tabias he didn't want him but a few weeks in he was back and he apologized and proposed they made it work and next year they'll be married on the day they first met.

"I believe he needs time..."Maycii trailed off once Tati looked at her like she was crazy.

"I'm just saying because he wanted an abortion he was dead set on it I know it sounds crazy but once Spirit is born he'll be there he don't seem like he wanna be around you at the moment that's not to say he doesn't want the child." Maycii spoke and I nodded my head walking to my car where my driver was waiting.

"I just want my space right now." I spoke before my car pulled off.

I felt like what Maycii said was idiotic and rude it made no sense if he wanted the child at any point he'd be here not even for me but the child it hurt that he wasn't owning his shit and he wasn't trying to reach out I literally haven't stepped foot in the spotlight or done my job since my child came into my life I wish someone would reach out anyone because it felt like I was in a dark room without a door no way to leave or escape.

I haven't been prescribed with any meds for this despression only told to seek therapy and I truthfully wasn't gonna do that I didn't feel like anyone could understand what I was going through I was gonna try and fight for my baby.

Anyone going through depression your not alone and you can fight through it I don't believe meds make your crazy or therapy means your messed up get the forms of help you need so you can be a better version of yourself. 💙

Anyone going through internal things such as suicide I'm here if you need me I've gone through it on multiple occasions I have internal issues with myself I've had traumas that I've pushed to the back of my mind and when I couldn't hold it in anymore I burst! So if you think your alone your not I'm still trying to find my worth and love myself so that others can do the same you are never alone I will always be here to spread awareness and to guide you and provide you with love 🤍❤️‍🩹

New chapter may come today idk I be busy.