•unsent message•

an unsent note

to the one the I unconditionally love:
I've always liked you. Even when I was 'rude' to you. The day I realized that you were the only guy I ever wanted was the day everything changed. I never get to go back to how I used to see things. I loved you and a still love you despite you breaking my heart. You were the only thing I thought of, you were the first person I thought of when I woke up. When I thought I liked someone else it was really me just trying to cover up how I felt about you. It has always been you. Nothing will ever change that. When I found out you broke up with me it really sucked. I found out through someone else and it confused me why you couldn't of just told me yourself. I cried every night and I hated myself for it. You were my first heartbreak and I'm to young to have to go through that. I know it doesn't matter to you how girls feel because you can date whoever you want and then move on to someone else without caring about anyone or anything. I don't know what you went through but I really don't think it was as bad as I had it.
I loved you beyond your popularity and looks, I know I didn't really show it. I didn't talk to you, I hid behind other people and I didn't act like a girlfriend. I'm still learning to be better. You can't be mad because you didn't really try to be a good boyfriend either. I never really had a real boyfriend before so I didn't know what I was doing. You've had lots of experience, not trying to be offensive. But even though we didn't talk I spent all my time imagining we were actually like a couple. I lost friends because of the annoying amount of time I spent talking about you. I didn't care because you were the only person I really wanted to be around. Another reason I didn't come up to you was because I was insecure. Why would an amazing guy like you like me? It made me feel like I wasn't good enough when you broke up with me for someone people quote 'lower then me.' Honestly I thought I was over you but I never really was. I'm still not over you and I probably won't ever be. I still love you.