People tell me I'm cold,
That I run away from them,
What would they say,
If they find out, you actually have me standing still?
Every decision I make,
Every breath I take,
I first question myself,
"Will he approve?"
You do have a right to tell me,
What's good and what's bad for me,
But to such an extent that I feel suffocated?
Shouldn't there be a limit to your control?
I do have a few things that keep me going
But one close look at me and
And people know a lot I'm faking
And I've faked so much all my life,
I don't even know who I am anymore.
"Am I really that confident
Or is it something I had to develop coz you called me your 'pillar of strength'?"
"Do I really believe in what I do
Or do I do it only to please you?"...
Tomorrow if I were to have another person in my life,
I wonder how would you react to my divided attention.
And what about me!
I have been so devoted to you,
I wonder if I can mould myself to the new person.
I've been told I'm insecure and unsure about everything,
I do know I'm mistrustful.
Don't you think I'll have a problem later on in life,
After you are gone?
I was so taken up with you,
I didn't know where I was heading.
And now, I am here!
I can only hope it's not too late, for me...
(22-3-2015)
