Kata-Kata

Special <3

Hi it's been a long while since I've been here kan? Almost 5 years macamtu kot? Life has been going okay lately but today I want to talk about the love of my life.

Oki so back in 2020, I met this wonderful guy whom I instantly fell for. He doesn't has the look or the figure to die for but his heart is made of gold. Seriously. He is kind, too kind and loving. After a few rejections (HAHAHA), we eventually got together on the 11 of November 2020. Best date ever. Best day ever. Actually the whole week leading to the date was the best week of my life.

We were together for 435 days. We ended things on good terms just sebab nak focus on our deen and education so we're still okay. We talk to each other every day sampai sekarang pun and we both can't seem to let go. In fact, I just went out of my way to go and meet him few days ago. I don't regret a single second of it walaupun banyak habis duit dan masa.

Because on the short trip, he reassured me again that he really does still love me, he just wants to take it slow a little bit.

Why I wanted to post this? Because I love how there are so much love between us especially in the small things. The way he remembered all the things I've done for him. As little as buying him cookies when I went outing and up to as big as giving him money when he was in need. I did everything I've done simply because I love him and I want him to feel loved by me. Tapi whenever he wanted to do the same thing, I'll always halang padahal he wants to show me that he loves me juga je :(.

Even though we have broken up, he still cares a lot about me, selalu reminds me to eat, to take care of myself, he still listens to me rambles about life. He still take a little bit of his time every day to listen to my problems and give out suggestions. When I told him today about my financial problem, he even offered his own money to help me. He said I can pay him back whenever sebab dia tahu, I won't accept 'gifts'. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes.

I once sent him all my passwords just incase if anything happens to me, someone can delete shits i post online. I sent those through email, he never mentioned anything about it so I always thought that he just don't care but that day, he sebut my password and I was shocked mana he tahu then he told me, "kamu yang send". and at that moment, I know he cares all about the little things too, the same way that I do, he does too.

Orang cakap, opposite attracts. We are different in a lot of ways but our differences tak pernah menyebabkan any arguments which I really love. He completes me. The ways that I'm lacking, he's good at and the way that he's lacking, I help. Paling simple is, I suck at mathematics and he is good at them. He doesn't communicate well but I do and I understand him even when he doesn't say anything.

He knows how to make me feel better. He knows that if something bothers me and he can do something to change it, he will instantly do so. No question asked or needed, he'll do it.

He never makes me feel like a burden to him for my whole life I've always felt like a burden tapi it's so easy to tell him everything without feeling like one. He makes loving me seems easy when its been difficult for a lot of people.

and for all of that and a lot more (no words will ever be enough); I am in love with him.

each seconds of every day, I keep falling for him. I don't care if this is puppy love ke apa since we are both so young but in this moment, he shows me that true love does exist and even if we don't end up together, he's the story I'll tell my daughter about.

if he is the best for me, then I pray that he stays, keep staying and loving me.

thank you sayang for making me feel alive, for making loving me feels so easy, for making me feel loved and for everything.

i love you until the end of time and i'll keep loving you forever.

thank you for being the 3/4 to my 1/4. for completing me.

ps// Happy 1 year 3 months @ 15 months @  457days <3

i love you,
always and forever;
your bebek,
Hani.