BIG STAR, mileven.

requited.

there was a time before he was mike wheeler, the lead singer of the overkillers, or the emmy-awarded actor. there was a time before he was the big star that lit up everyone's world — not just hers.

granted that time was nearly four years ago and they had barely graduated high school, but still, that time existed.

back then, he was just mike. he was also her childhood best friend and the sole possessor of her naive little heart.

surprisingly enough, her love was requited. she knew it. he knew it. their parents knew it. the whole fucking town knew it.

they never discussed it. it was almost like they had an unspoken agreement that their friendship was too important to jeopardize it with the risk of more — even if not having more meant they were miserable.

el was his biggest fan. she went to every single gig his band got and every musical or play he starred in. it was always her that encouraged his dreams, not his family or his other friends. it was always el.

so you can imagine how devastated she was graduation day she poured her heart out to him and told him she wanted more. she told him she didn't want keep skittishly dancing around their feelings for the next four years together at indiana state. she told him she loved him.

he cried.

they weren't happy tears either.

because after she told him everything he'd always wanted to hear, he had to tell her he was leaving.

he had to tell her about the talent agent that had heard him and his high school band called sourgram (a name he did not choose and deeply hated) at their last gig and was interested in signing them. he had to tell her he wasn't going to college anymore, he was going to new york to record an album.

it broke her heart.

it wasn't that she had felt rejected because she knew he loved her, she knew it killed him to leave her. it broke her heart that she'd waited so long — too long.

the clock had run out. she'd had her chance. she'd had 13 years of chances, since kindergarten, and so it was the rest of the world's turn to have him. she missed her chance.

the night of their high school graduation was anything but celebratory. they cried and kissed. they murmured i love you's and i'm sorry's.

he told her it would only take a few months to record the album and he'd come back, but she knew it wasn't true — no matter how much he believed it.

after all, she was his biggest fan. she saw his potential. she knew he could be big, and now that he had the opportunity, she knew was going to be a star.

she let him make love to her that night. it was slow and soft and life-changing, but it was also sad and she cried during it. he cried after.

he left for new york city the next day, the first day of summer, and he became that big star she'd seen all along.