Or Ben tries to cook.
Special thanks to B. Dylan Hollis for the title.
"No."
"It's gonna be good this time, I swear,"Ben promises.
Joel blinks. "You're cooking PRUNES. How is it gonna be good?"
"You'll see."
Ben dumps in a cup of sugar and water.
"You're boiling prunes,"Tobymac whimpers, having stumbled into the kitchen. Not being part of the band, Ben's alchemy is new to him. And horrifying.
"Eggs,"Ben orders Joel.
Joel heads to the fridge. "How many?"
Backus references his vintage cookbook. "Dunno. Just says eggs."
"Great." Joel takes two.
Ben whips the whites, then folds it ever so carefully- "Or what, you'll ruin a disaster?"Joel snarks- into the prune boil.
"In you go,"Ben whispers, pouring the mixture into his pie crust.
Toby prays in the corner.
It bakes. The guys fidget. From the living room of the tour bus, the rest of the band waits anxiously. Ben's cooking is never good, but he's having a baby and wants-NEEDS- the practice. He refuses to let his wife do the cooking. He hates doing the dishes.
Out it comes.
The guys file into the kitchen, like a line of criminals headed to jail.
In it goes.
"Oh God,"Joel chokes.
"You know,"Toby says. "It's not terrible. It just...tastes like a crime."
"It's digestible,"Vince compliments.
"Thanks,"Ben says, deadpan. "I think next time I'll make the baked bean pizza."
Joel gags and says,"I'd rather shower with a bear."
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I had fun writing this. References galore! Don't eat prune pie.
For the original video, google B Dylan Hollis Prune Pie. Wattpad won't let me share it here, probably because it's a short. :/
