unrequited • finn wolfhard

my mother and i

- flashback -

~

"are you all packed?"

i look up from my phone, too see my mother pressing her face through the doorway.

"hm?" i heard her, but i thought i took to long to reply, and i didn't know what else to say.

"i said are you all packed?"

"oh yeah i am."

"okay." my mom claps her hand on the door frame, getting ready to walk away.

"why are you forcing me to go camp?"

she stops and slowly turns around. i've asked her this question multiple times, but she doesn't actually answer it. she just says,

"it'll be great"

"mom you're not answering my question."

"we've had this discussion more than once sophie. i'm not having ot with you again. stop complaining, at least you're going with aurora."

"rory."

"i don't understand why you call her that. her real name is pretty just the way it is."

"way to change the subject."

i reach for my headphones, realizing i did something bad.

"excuse me?"
_
i can feel my face getting red. no point in stopping now.

i couldve stopped.

i should've stopped.

i didn't.

and that just made the ride to the bus station awkward.
_
"i said way to change the subject."

"i didn't change the subject. watch your tone."

"you didn't answer my question."

"i don't have to answer any of your questions. i'm the mother, you're the daughter, and you're going to camp. that's final."

"why is my question."

"sophie-" i don't let her finish.

"mother."

"don't start this right now." she say, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"i just want to know why you're forcing me to go to a camp, so last minute. you loterally told me just last week, and i just found out you enrolled last month. last month mom. that's not fair. and then you practically begged rory's mom to let her go to camp with me, why? i should at least know why."

"because, i can do that. that's just how much power a mother has."

"still avoiding my question mom!"

"because i'm dealing with a lot of stuff right now and i can't keep putting you through all of it! you staying here all summer long with no where to go is just too much for me right now. i need... space. it was either this, or staying with your dad"

all she does is aggressively run her hands down her face, pulling down her eyelids. she looks at me.

im silent.

im stunned.

she continues to stare at me, probably waiting for me to say something, or even react.

but im still.

im still and silent.
_

that day i finally came out my room to see my mom taking pills. i stand there watching her. 

i never noticed it.

for so long.

i never noticed the pain my mom was going through.

i wish i could go back.

i wish i could've helped her.

but i didnt.

i was too young.

too naive to see the signs.
_

"got all your stuff?"

"yep."

"ok. have fun with rory. i'll see you soon."

my mom gives me a hug goodbye.

that was the last i heard from her.