Chapter 00
"So is this how we end our relationship?" I asked. He just looked past me. "You, driving me home and never giving me the chance to explain? And you, accusing me of things I didn't do?" I added.
I don't want to cry. Nope. That's not gonna happen. I don't want to cry over this man. Crap. Tears. I wiped it immediately. I don't want to cry. I must have loved this man so much.
"Ginawa ko naman lahat ng gusto mo, Miko. Alam ko hindi ako nagkulang o baka akala ko lang 'yon?" I sniffed. "O baka sumosobra na ako? Are you tired of me annoying you?"
"You know that's not the reason." He nonchalantly answered.
"Eh ano? Pagod na akong tanungin ang sarili ko kasi wala akong makuhang sagot galing sa akin. Sagutin mo naman ako. Maiintindihan ko naman, mag-aadjust ako. I swear I will not do it anymore." Nag uunahan na namang tumulo ang mga luha ko. "Alam kong wala ka rin namang iba kasi hindi ka ganoong tao. I know you're not a cheater. I know you still love me, that is why I cannot understand what went wrong. I cannot comprehend. I cannot solve a jigsaw puzzle because I don't have all the pieces. There's this one piece I do not have and I do not know where to find."
Masaya naman kaming dalawang nagcelebrate ng third anniversary namin last last week. Bigla nalang siyang naging busy at wala na siyang oras na kausapin ako nang matino. Ang huling kita nga namin ay noong celebration namin. Tapos ngayong nagkita kami ulit, hindi ko sya makausap ng maayos, hindi nga namin natapos kainin ang dinner namin at nagaya na akong umuwi. Pagod ako sa trabaho tapos dumagdag pa 'to.
Ang sinabi lang niya kaninang pauwi kami ay pagod daw siya dahil may surgery daw sya kanina kaya hindi raw sya masyadong kumikbo. Pero dati naman noong mga panahong may surgery siya, siya pa ang nagpupumilit na kitain ako kasi ako nga raw ang pahinga nya. Anong nangyari?
Tuluyan na akong naiyak. Crap.
"You think I ain't tired of all these things?" I asked as I wiped my tears off my cheeks "I am exhausted, Mikhaal. I am fucking exhausted." I gasped for air.
He took a step forward to reach me.
I stopped him, "No, Miko. Do not fucking come near me." I gasped for another air. Fuck him. Fuck asthma. Fuck everything.
I gasped for another air. Fucking fuck!
He took another step. And I screamed. "No!"
"You don't have to be worried now, Miko. You don't get to do so, because fuck! I've been so exhausted in this relationship. I'm so tired of my life. I have always been the one who keeps begging someone to stay. I am always the one who is always being left behind. So fuck you for letting me feel like I deserve to be wanted, to be cared for, and to be fucking loved!"
and I left.
