The Cure

Chapter 26

He never thought he'd see the day where the dark odour of smoke was an appreciable one, Nathaniel thought distantly, his heart speeding up instantly; he hadn't even bothered to change at work, sloping moodily home in his scrubs and doctor's jacket, which he peeled off, his heart in his throat.

When he heard the bathroom door open, he froze, midway to hanging up the jacket and his coat, and Lola made her way halfway towards the bar until she spotted him, and was struck equally motionless.

They stared at one another long, the air heavy.

'Where the hell have you been?' It came out more violently than he intended, and Lola visibly tensed, surprised.

'Out.' Her voice was blank, coolly innocent. He shivered.

'I got that.' Every muscle in his body was clenched, and he struggled to keep his voice even. 'Who with?'

­'What?'

'Who were you with?' Jared smirked before his mind's eye; he felt his stomach clench.

She shook her head. 'What's it to you?'

His eyebrows shot up. 'Are you serious?'

'What?'

'What's it to me?'

Lola was crossing and uncrossing her arms across her chest, clearly irritated by his sudden presence, his interrogations, his unexpected vehemence.

After a long pause, the confusion about her expression cleared.

'What, we hook up and suddenly I've got to inform you of my whereabouts, is that it?'

'Well, if you're going to disappear for nearly a week, then yeah—'

'What for?'

'—for fuck's sake. I was worried about you.'

'Oh, Jesus, Nate,' she rolled her eyes. 'I'm a big girl.'

'If it's because of Jared—'

'Oh, my God.' She snorted, irritated.

'—I'd rather you just tell me, instead of avoiding me—'

'I'm not avoiding you. It's not about you.'

'—well obviously it is, because I came out the shower after that night, to make you breakfast, take you out, fuck it, I don't know, and you were just gone, and not a fucking word since.' He slammed the front door with more force than was necessary, making her jump.

'I don't even have your number,' she muttered, shrugging. 'What do you want me to do?'

'To stop acting like nothing's going on.'

'I don't owe you anything.' He couldn't help but feel both the sting, and the truth, of her exasperated words, and dropped his head as swallowed his irrational anger. 'And you don't have to play the gentleman with me. I'm OK. Really. I don't need breakfast, or wining and dining – it's just – it is what it is.'

'A mistake?' He regretted the question as soon as it left his lips.

Lola shrugged again, and his patience withered into nothing, raising his voice in exasperation.

'I mean, fuck, is this what you do? Is this "OK" to you? Because I keep just playing it over and over in my head, and I just – Jesus, Lola, it wasn't a mistake. Not for me.'

'Of course, it was a mistake. What, you think this—' she pointed a finger towards him, then to herself, '—would be a good idea?' She had lost her temper too, pushing a trembling hand through the flyaway, unwashed pile of blond hair, ash falling from the tip of her cigarette into the strands. Nate swallowed, uncertain if he was willing to hear any more. 'We're flatmates, for God's sake. Look at me! Look at you.'