Love Illusion

My life wasn't bad before I met you, like every other teenage normal girl,that's how it was.

I was riding back from school when I met this free looking interesting guy who stopped me to say hi and asked for my name. The next day he sent me a message on my E-mail....(I still wonder how he did that) .

We talked for some time, just a casual conversation of two people trying to get to know each other with the other one not showing much interest.

Weeks went by, I hadn't heard a word from him. Then one day when I was walking down the street, I saw him and my heart happened to skip a beat. It was him, again. He waved at me before we could meet, anybody could tell he was quite excited to see me.

We walked down the road together and he walked me back home. Later on, he asked me over the phone if we could meet up the following day and I agreed.

The day came and we were seated by the park when he asked me if I could be his girlfriend and so it went on.

As time went by, I really grew fond of him and we could talk all day long, it was a beautiful love take like from the movies.

Like every other normal relationship, it wasn't all Rosey everyday but we'd shine some light in each other's life even at our worst moments.

After some months of dating, me and Jason had more arguments than happy times, he'd shout at me over petty issues. He'd accuse me of cheating on him with different guys.

He was my first love, I never knew how to react to that and so I apologized for anything he'd be upset about. It was a toxic relationship.

As time went by, the situation got worse but I turned a blind eye to it, he started hanging out with other girls more often and later on come back to me and treat me like trash, I'd sit and cry over it...utter words to myself that I loved him and so I just had to stay and hope for a change.

Jason had totally changed, the sweet kind guy I met had varnished like a mist.

Until one point I had to let my guard down and end things with him. I was miserable, traumatized,broken and nothing gave me a reason to live a happy day. ..

Years went by and finally I felt the need to try out something new, yes I met another guy, I felt he was the one, sent from heaven.... We went out for a month then I found out he had another girlfriend and so I had to cut things with him.

Not long when I met someone I felt safe to be with, my comfort zone, someone who made me feel loved again. Who appreciates me and all... But I felt it was an illusion due to my anxieties....it was too good to be true.

I wasn't the girl with the best looks and personality but he adored me despite all that.

As time went by I was in love again, but it wasn't like the first one, this one was full of insecurities. My boyfriend would be mad Even when I was out with my friends, we argued over issues that could have been easily dealt with.