Finding Love in France

Part 20: Plans

She couldn't remember when the last time anyone had asked her to dance had been. Now, this handsome, charming, admittedly a little overly-confident American was holding his hand out to her. When she had first put the dress on, she tried to tie a scarf around the waist to take away some of the bulk, but it still look like she was a kid wearing their parents clothes. Instead, she had managed to wriggle herself through the neck hole and used the sleeves as straps tied at the neck. It looked like a gaudy red apron, but it covered what it was supposed to and felt a little less matronly than the original design. She felt silly, but the way he was looking at her...

She put her hand in his and he pulled her to him. As they swayed to the music, she rested her head on his chest and sighed. He rested his head on hers and closed his eyes. He thought about it for a minute, and realized, in all the time he had been dancing with beautiful girls, he had never cared about what they thought of him as much as he cared so desperately what this one did. "Mila? Do you think we have a shot, you know, when this is all over?"

"What do you mean, my love?" She really regretted telling him about learning to block her sometimes.

"Well, uh, I mean, you're a doctor. You're gonna have a purpose. This fancy, nice life." He was nervous. "Me? Who knows?"

"Don't you have any plans?" She had not given much thought to what to do after the war, as she was too busy trying simply to get through it.

"Me? Hell, I don't know. Get a job? Stay in the Army? Really haven't had the time, or more importantly, a reason, to think about it." What was he saying? Don't get ahead of yourself, stay cool.

She looked up at him "A reason? James, what are you getting at?"

"Well, um, jeez, why am I so nervous?" His voice cracked like a damn teenager. "I don't want to lose you, Mila. So, uh, I'm trying to figure out the best way to do that. You know, NOT lose you."

She smiled "My love, where might I be going? Think about it. I have no identification, my country wants me dead, and there seems to be no end in sight for this war." She kissed the hand that was holding hers. "Why would I want go anywhere else?"

"Sure, for now, Mils. But what if this thing ends tomorrow? What then?" Didn't she get it? Was he not being clear? "What happens when I'm all healed up and have to go back to the Army? Back to the front lines? What about when the people who used to live here come back?"

"I suppose I had not thought about it. Truly, these are important questions, my love." She bit her lip. "Honestly, the thought of you going back to the front lines terrifies me. But, I have been avoiding thinking about any sort of future for some time. It seems like such a far-fetched idea, no? The way things are going, it seems almost cruel."

"Cruel? What are you talking about? You're gonna have the whole world at your feet! You worked on the Super Soldier project, for god's sake. You'll have your pick of where you want to go, what you want to do, who you want to work for..." He swallowed hard "...and who you want to be with when you get there."

"Is that what this is about, James?" She raised an eyebrow. "You think we are incompatible outside of a war? Really?" Where was this coming from? And tonight, during this lovely evening he had obviously worked so hard on? "Tell me, my love. Before we met, what were your plans for the future? Were they wildly different? Were you planning on joining the circus? And now that you have met me, your dreams of lion taming are in jeopardy? Hmm?" She was trying to make him laugh, and failing.

"No, Doc. That's just it. There was never a plan." He kissed her head and took a deep breath "But that doesn't seem good enough anymore. Not even close. How are you gonna want to be with a guy like me, once the Howard Starks of the world get a load of you?"

"My darling, honestly! Are you really that insecure? Have I done something to make you think that you are anything less than the most wonderful and important man in the world to me?" She put her hands on his face. "Sergeant Barnes, hear me when I tell you that Clark Gable himself could walk through that door and I would not notice. Understood?!"

He smiled weakly. "Sorry, Mils. Guess I really need to get my head out of my ass. I think I got ahead of myself after seeing those old married couples running the market, watching the kids running around. Seeing people living regular lives. It got to me, I guess."

"Are you saying that you want a regular life? Running a market stall in France? Sounds rather provincial for a guy from New York." she teased.

"Maybe not the market, Doc. But the regular, ordinary, happy, boring life? After everything we've been through? Absolutely." now he really had to block her, as unwanted thoughts started flooding his mind. To distract himself, he reached into his pocket for the last surprise. "Here, take this before it melts."

She looked down at the small foil-covered ball in his hand. "James, is this what I think it is?!"

"Hopefully still in one piece, Doc!" Her grinning face took his mind off of himself for a minute. "Go on! Enjoy!"

"Only if you share it with me! This is unbelievable!" and she unwrapped her first piece of real chocolate in years. She took a bite and savored every molecule. "God, I have missed this!" she practically purred and shoved the rest of the confection sloppily into his mouth.

"Mmm!" Then he kissed her with chocolate smeared lips and smiled. "Hey, is that Clark Gable over there?" and laughed.

"Who?" she laughed back, and kissed him deeply.