I hate you Bucky Barnes

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It's a crisp cold winters morning in New York. The suns just starting to rise, beams of orange and yellow light are starting to come through the window. I like to keep my curtains open whilst I sleep so I rise with the sun. A bit odd I know, but way up here at the top of the Avengers HQ it's not like anyone is going to be looking through the window. I lie in bed for a short while, watching the sun rising, the orange colours reflecting off different objects in the room. This is going to be a good day, as long as I don't run into 'him'.

I've been staying at the Avengers HQ for a little while now. Ever since Steve found me in one of Hydras experimental facilities. There's little to say, as there's very little I remember. I was always there, I think. Steve came one day to shut the base down and found me. He brought me back to the Avengers HQ to keep me safe and I've lived here ever since. I help out on missions, I've sort of got the super soldier serum in me, it's slightly different to Steves. That's what Hydra were using me for, they were developing it. I've since heard they had a lot of these experimental labs across the world, all doing the same thing, creating more of...well, me.

Steve and I are great friends. We got on right away, he's kind and caring and just...amazing really. He has a warmth to him that just makes me feel relaxed and safe as soon as I'm with him. We gossip, we watch movies, we do everything together really. Everyone else makes comments about us being a couple, if I'm honest we do do very coupley stuff. But we aren't a couple. Steve would never see me that way, he's still hung up on Peggy. I think he always will be. I've never properly thought about Steve that way, I mean, of course he is incredibly attractive. I never let myself think of him like that, I can't ruin the friendship, he's the best thing in my life. Ok fine maybe there was ONE time that I thought of him like that. We went out for dinner and after went for a walk along the lake...I know I know, 'couple stuff'. We both thought it was a great idea to go swimming in our underwear. He took his shirt off and oh. My. God. I'd never seen anything like it, he's gorgeous. We swam, we laughed, we talked. The moon was big and bright, he was wet and...well anyone could guess what that would do to a girl. Anyway, like I said, he never thinks of me like that so there's no point.

Steve lives at the HQ full time as well, he did have an apartment in Brooklyn but decided to move in. I think he felt bad leaving me here on my own after everything. Anyway, since then I've met all the other avengers and I've made friends with them too. I mean it's nothing like Steve and I but, we are friends. Tony is here a-lot of the time but does live with Peppa so he goes home at the end of the day. Nat lives here and we do fun stuff together sometimes but she's always going out on her own 'secret missions'. No one questions it we just let her get on with it. Sam drops in from time to time, he's hilarious and we get on well too. We see others from time to time but it's really only a few of us living here. Yeah I think that's it. That's everyone. Oh wait. Him.

Bucky. Bucky Barnes. Bucky lives here. Although, I avoid him as much as I possibly can. He's got that grumpy dark 'I hate everybody' kind of look to him. I mean he does hate everybody, I've heard him voice it many times. He's Steve's best friend, I know I should be his best friend right? Steve and Bucky have known each other forever, and I mean forever because they're old as shit. They've gone through a lot together and Steve looks after Bucky. Bucky went through a lot, I mean he's got a right to be grumpy but he's just so rude. I don't know what his problem is, I've never heard him say anything nice, he just stares at me. Anyway, it's all too much for me, I find it hard to bite my tongue when he's around so I just make sure that he's not...around.

Anyway...I get up at sun rise and went down to the kitchen to make my morning coffee. I make one for Steve and Nat too, they've got some mission today. I'm not sure what, it's all very secretive but I don't mind not going. I like having time to myself. I take Steve and Nat a cup of coffee each and go back to the kitchen for my breakfast. Bucky. Urgh. It was hard to hide the disgust on my face, this man just pisses me off I have no idea why.

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