𝙎𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝙈𝙚𝙢𝙥𝙝𝙞𝙨, 𝙏𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙚
𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙠𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙑𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝘼𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨
♕ 𝗜𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗮 𝗜𝗻𝗶 𝗦𝗲𝗮𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗱 ♕
I sat and looked at myself in the mirror. The large scratch that was on my side had my attention at the moment. I got it from when I was a baby. When my mom threw me in the dumpster, she didn't know that there was broken glass inside.
She laid me on top of a broken mirror and the small shards scratched me up. Some healed and went away. Some didn't. For instance, this one.
Watching it over the years made me realize how far away I am from that pain. From those problems. And honestly, I feel way better than I did before. I knew it meant that I came from something hard and it's only making me stronger.
I had mixed emotions about the scar. I didn't and still don't know why she threw me in the dumpster and it might've been a more understanding if I knew who she was. Don't get me wrong, what she did was totally wrong.
But everybody has a reason for everything.
I just wanna heal from so much shit that I go through on the day to day. I didn't ask for this type of shit. I just wanna be happy and free. I want to be able to do whatever I want.
I want to live in a world that I have no restraints or restrictions. I don't see that for me here. I can't see pass my failures. I can't see pass my misfortunes. That's all I see whenever I wake up.
Is this my karma?
Is this what I deserve? Why do I continuously go through things that make me feel like I'm suffocating and beneath the surface. Like I'm drowning. About to die.
Like there is no air for me to gasp. Nothing for me outside. Nothing for me in this world at all.
"Nana," I heard, I turned and noticed Bria and Tommi walking into my room. Tommi had her work uniform on and Bria had her work clothes on as well. "Why you crying?"
I sniffed and wiped my eyes before waving them off. "Nothing," I said. "What y'all just came from work or something?"
"Yeah," Tommi said laying back on the bed. "We was going to go see Renni and Bank and em but Dee over there and we don't fuck with him no more." She said shaking her head.
"What he do to y'all?" I asked with a small laugh.
"Youn fuck with him so we don't fuck with him." Bria said looking up from her phone. "And plus he got that bitch over there with him and I'll beat that bitch up for you, no bap."
"Y'all already know how I'm coming." Tommi said, I laughed a little at them.
"Y'all don't gotta beat nobody up for me. I don't even give a fuck about that situation anymore." I said waving my hand. And I didn't. That nigga was a clown either way it go.
"I know but that bitch be getting smart with us for no reason. Like we would say something to Dee cause he the men. Niggas was cool with him went to his games and allat." Bria explained.
"Right and then here come this bitch saying smart shit when nobody was even talking to her big face wide tooth having ass." Tommi jumped in, I laughed a little.
