Outgoing Correspondence

CHAPTER ONE

'I fucking love you!'

'And I fucking love you too, bye Franky!'

***

Bridget rushed out of the prison building and got into her car. She grabbed the steering wheel and loudly groaned. The tears were swelling down her pale cheeks. Had she really done this? Had she really said to the woman she loved that they needed to get a fresh start? What if Franky would agree? Thoughts were invading Bridget's mind. It was hard to leave the person she loved. But she wasn't coping anymore, seeing daily the way Franky was spending time with Allie, how Ferguson was screwing them, how she rejected being helped, etc. She started the engine to go directly home. Home, which only several months ago was theirs, filled with laughter and vibrant life. Now she had to get back to the cold silent four walls. When the blonde arrived, she took a box with some of her belongings from Wentworth from the backseat, opened the front door, and with a devastating sigh threw the box onto the counter. When she did so, a slip of paper jumped out of the stationary, catching her attention. She hesitantly came closer to have a better look at what that was.

***

Bridget!

Um...Even do not know how to start. You've always told me to express myself, and what is a better way than through writing.

Anyway, it's not easy. It hadn't been easy to start life outside. But I had that spunky girl beside me, and it seemed I clearly saw new horizons. Now I'm back here again and not even sure if I still have you.

Gidge!

I fucked up! As usual. Franky Doyle, the fucker of all the fuckiest fuckers on this fucking planet.

Gidge, I am sorry for hurting you. There, in my cell then. I know you came to help, to talk that situation through, but I was sincerely... well, honestly, I was in two minds.

Firstly, I was really sure you wouldn't be able to help.

I admit now, that I was wrong. I should have listened to you and should have told you the truth, and shouldn't have hidden the Pennisi thing.

You were right when you said Ferguson was playing us, and she wasn't involved in the murder of Mike. I didn't listen to you. I was too overwhelmed by a presumable conspiracy theory. It drove me crazy and simultaneously cheered me up. I, as if, traveled back in time when I was fucking with everyone here. Additionally, I was so sure she was really involved alongside her godson.

Secondly, I was scared for your life as Ferguson started to imply that we were together, and I clearly understood that could put you in danger among the prisoners. You were walking those halls without guards, in all those fancy clothes. You are this tiny creature that could be easily attacked, physically. The best plan I could think up was to attack you myself, so I could be sure you'd leave me alone. I promise I didn't want this, more than that it wasn't my intention to hurt you. But eventually, I did what I did, and you left, and I totally understand if you never want to see me again, that is what I deserve.

Bridget, honey, I love you. I fell in love with you. It happened for the first time in my life, and that wasn't something that I could really control. You know all about me, and you managed to see something beyond, to trust me, and to believe in me. I hope you still do.

I allow you to punch me in the face when you see me next time. I wasn't good to you. Punish me Gidge, in any way you like, babe!

I have to do something, Gidge! Just don't worry, everything will be fine. I am doing this for us. For myself, for you. How much time would you be able to come to visit me here? Ok, let's imagine a year, ok, maybe two. In the end, you'd despise me for making you come and sleep with me for one hour weekly as if seeing some whore for free. At the end of the day, it would look dirty to both of us. In the end, we would hate each other. We would ruin our lives. And the victim would be you because I would still be here for another 25 years and wouldn't give a fuck about the people.

It's nowhere to fall when you've hit the bottom, right...?

However, your reputation would be ruined for dating an inmate. Even do not want to think about it, really, disgusting!

Babe, I am on the edge of something. It's going to take time, though. I got you in my chest and it's giving me power. I've got plenty of fight left.

I should see the therapist of Pennisi and Farrah. I do hope I'll be able to get to know some essential information. I also must find the shrine that psycho did, photos of me and you, that would prove his obsession. Of course, I'd have to find something else that would have grounds for the reinvestigation. If I am lucky enough, I'll find evidence.

Gidge, I love you, and I'll be back!

***

When Bridget finally finished reading, she couldn't suppress her emotions, she wanted to smile and cry simultaneously. She loved that fearless woman with her whole tortured heart, and she was ready to wait for her. Whatever Franky had on her mind, Bridget was ready to help. But for now, she wanted to get rid of clothes that smelled of prison. She needed a shower and to prepare some dinner. Cooking always helped her stay sane.