Eat Me, Drink Me

The 300 Pound Club

How many calories would I have to eat per day to gain 40 pounds by the end of June? Currently 310 pounds. Please give calorie ideas, snack ideas and favourite foods! All of this started around Thanksgiving of this year.  I knew that I'd been getting bigger since last year. It wasn't pandemic weight per se; I was stress eating overwork and eating to fill the void when I was depressed. I got a shock when I stepped on the scales around Thanksgiving to see that I was 275 pounds. I didn't feel it. Sure my stomach was pushing out a little further and my hips were a little wider...I was starting to have trouble fitting in more of my extra-large t-shirts. 

I kept promising that I would lose weight. That I would change my diet. Instead of doing that, I filled up on holiday pies, cookies and snacks. I ate turkey, potatoes, rolls, stuffing-pretty much any side available-until I couldn't get any more in. I knew that getting high was causing me to binge eat, especially when I was anxious when I got high. I spent all three days of my break high and eating. I must have eaten $100.00 in delivery food. 

Christmas treats brought an even chunkier me. I couldn't say no to fudges, different cakes (I'm a complete pig when it comes to cake) and seasonal cookies. One afternoon I managed to eat a dozen mini cream cheese cookies. I knew I was going to be almost 300 pounds by the time the new year happened. I just wanted to eat. It made me feel good.  Christmas dinner I consumed enough for almost three people. 3 helpings of everything and two rounds of desserts. I wasn't shy about asking for leftovers to take home.

My friend commented that I was really getting fat. I told her that I wasn't that I'm just a little stressed and eating helps. It doesn't matter, I'm comfortable at this weight. I don't tell her that I've been fantasising about being 300 pounds since I was a kid. I was always ashamed to gain weight but now I have the confidence to do it. After seeing that I was over the 250-pound mark, it only felt natural to weigh 300. Double the size that I'm supposed to be. 

I ate so much at the work Christmas party that my co-workers said something to me. "You need to leave enough for others to enjoy you know. I think you've had enough lately." I must have put on 15 pounds. I felt heavier. I liked feeling the weight. I've always had stretch marks. It's like I'm one of those people who are supposed to be thin, but because I'm perpetually overfeeding myself my body is stretched beyond what it's supposed to be. As soon as their backs were turned, I made my way to the cold cut tray and began to inhale the turkey breast and cheese slices. 

"You should really think about what getting stoned is doing to you." My friend told me, sitting next to me at our annual new year's party. "You put on like 60-70 pounds last year dude. You're like getting really fucking fat. Every time you get high, you literally eat everything in sight. Sometimes it makes me sick how much you stuff in your face. People at work are starting to talk." I dip two mozzarella sticks in the chunky marinara at the same time. "What are they saying?" "You know the usual. Fatty, Lardo. They're taking a bet on how much fatter you're going to get next year. They don't think you can stop eating. I think you can do it." She hands me a card. "What's this?" "Open it." I open the card and find a paid Weight Watchers plan. "What's this?" 

"I want to help you with your weight problem." "I don't have a weight problem." "Come on, man, you're like 300 pounds now. You gotta take control of this before it becomes a problem." I dunk another two sticks. "I'll think about it." 

I don't go to the meetings. I give the certificate to my sister who was looking to shed some excess college weight. Meanwhile, I was looking to gain the freshman 15. I keep thinking about myself weighing over 300 pounds. I'm ready for it. I'm becoming more and more bloated. I'm growing moobs. I wonder if they'll end up so big I'll need a bra to contain them when I go on long waddles. Oh my God, what am I thinking about? I've put on 65 pounds in the last year. Lately, I've been thinking about seeing how much weight I can really gain in one year when I put my mind and appetite to it.  I'm thinking that I aim for another 100 pounds. Technically, 110 pounds since I'm 290. 

I love that I'm getting soft and flabby. My hips are starting to wobble when I sit down and sketch quickly. I'm falling in love with obesity and food. I'm experimenting with new flavours. I'm thinking of writing my own cookbook. People have been saying that I'm a great baker, so why not put it to good use? I could blog some of the recipes and that could help me to pay for all the groceries I'm going to need to actively gain. Not to mention that I get to chow down on my creations! I won't be a complete slob; I'm going to share with my friends. I can't wait to tell them that I've decided to see if I can weigh 400 pounds by New Year's Eve this year. Fat men need love. Maybe I can find a girl who's into bigger guys. There are girls out there like that? 

I decide to start a weight gain journal. I want to start taking measurements of my weight and clothes sizes. I kind of gain weight like a woman; in the hips and thighs. I'm starting to be able to grab handfuls of my hips. I can't wait when I can fill my hand with my chubb. I wonder what kind of belly I'll develop. Will my butt grow big? Will I get a double chin? I was surprised that I didn't have one. I knew that by 400 pounds, my face would probably give in and start storing weight.