"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me"
"No more" said a girl as she sat inside an isolated room. The room was white and many things were broken. Tears fell from the girl's eyes as she cried. She held a sharp piece of shard from a broken mirror inside the isolated room.
"Loser" a boy said and kicked her before he ran away.
Slash. The shard slid on her skin, cutting open a small wound. The pain on her wrist numbed the pain she felt in her heart. It was a hard choice, but if it helped against the wound in her heart, maybe it could make it disappear completely.
"Ew, look at her" said a girl to her friends. "What a nerd" said the other as they looked over their shoulders at a girl who sat alone, reading a book.
Another slash was done on her wrist again. The pain doubled as more blood began to drip in the white floor. She winced as her tears fell on the cut she had made. Her hand gripped the glass shard harder, which wounded her hand.
Before she could cut herself again, a knock on the door was heard. "Honey, are you alright?" the girl's mother said through the door. The girl lost her grip on the shard as it fell down on the floor shattering. Her mother shaked the door knob as her daughter did not answer her question. Standing up, the girl walked to the door and leaned on it. "I'm alright, mom" she said in a hushed voice. It was clear to know that she had been crying. "Honey, let me in" her mother said in a soothing voice, but the girl did not move from her spot. "Are you sure you're alright? Let me in, please" the girl's mother asked again.
The girl thought for a while before she decided to unlock and open the door slightly. She looked down on her feet, afraid of facing her mother's face. "I'm alright" she said quietly. The mother looked behind the girl to see the room completely thrashed. Her eyes widened as she grabbed the door and forced it onen There stood her daughter
with blood dripping down from her left wrist and right palm. She was horrified. "What did you do?!" the mother asked in worry. The girl remained quiet as the mother hurriedly went to get the first aid kit. She was sat down on the couch as her mother tended to her wounds.
"Why would you cut yourself?" her mother asked softly. The girl looked away and mumbled "I don't want to feel it anymore". Her mother finished wrapping the bandage on her wrist and palm. "Don't do it again. It doesn't help to get rid of what you don't want to feel" her mother said sternly. The girl stood up from her seat, but before she could leave her mother asked her what she did not want to feel and why. She shook her head and whispered a single word before she left "Pain".
The next day, the girl's mother decided to make sure her daughter was alright. "Please tell me what's wrong. I am worried about you" the girl's mother said as they stood by their front door. "It's nothing" the girl said trying to assure her mother. Before her mother could ask anymore questions, the girl left running. Her mother was often worried about her daughter. The girl had become more quiet since fifth grade when her father died, and it had gotten worse when she started at high school. She always locked herself in her room and often came home with bruises she tried to hide. Whenever her mother asked her about school, she would answer with an "Ok" or stay quiet and avoid the question.
The girl arr ved at school and her was the same as always. Attend class, be the loner she was, hear people trash talk and gossip behind her back, and get heavily beaten if her classmates needed to vent their feelings out. Her bullies always made sure that there was no one around when they beat her. No teachers has even known about her situation. If the girl had a friend, he or she would probably help her, but she had none as she was the outsider.
They teased her for being different, for being smarter. If not, they beat and bullied her for the fun of it. She did not scream anymore at the painful blows she would receive. She was used to it. Most had gotten bored beating her and sticked to calling her names, and basically trash talk her. The girl acted as if she did not care. She held a stoic
facade and stayed quiet. She was used to it and saw no point in reacting.
The girl grabbed her bag as the last bell rang. She walked out of the school, only to be dragged by someone to the back of the school. There she was kicked down to the ground and punched down again as she tried to stand up again. The girl looked up to see who her bullies were. It was the group of friends who loved to taunt and beat her. The group who started it all.
"Pathetic" spat a boy in the group. "What a waste of space" said a girl. "Ugly nerd" another girl said. They kicked her down. The couple of the group, who were the leaders, grabbed her hair and pulled it up so that the poor, beaten girl could face them. "Why are you even alive?" the boy asked as he tugged her hair hard before he let it go and punched her face. "You're better off dead. Just jump off a cliff and die already!" the boy's girlfriend said and threw her down to the ground, still gripping the girl's hair tight.
The group left the beaten girl on the ground and laughed. "Hope you didn't hurt yourself much! We expect to see you tomorrow at school for another round" the boy leader said. The girl stood up from the ground and dragged herself home. Her mother opened the door to see her daughter all beaten up. "Oh dear! What happened?" she said worriedly. Again, the girl's mother tended to her wounds and asked her what happened. The girl did not answer and remained quiet. Her mother noticed faint marks of old bruises and asked "Is someone hitting you". The girl's eyes widened slightly and said "No, I am just clumsy at school".
The girl went up to her room and locked it. She thought back to the words she heard. The girl opened her drawer and pulled out a small box. Every single word repeated on her head. "No more. I can't take it anymore" she said as she opened the box to reveal pills. Her mother had no idea about them as she had bought it in secret. The girl had never thought of using them, but she could not take the pain anymore. She stared at the pills in the box.
Ugly.
Nerd.
Pathetic.
A waste of space.
The words stung. It hurt more than the beatings. Even though they were only words, it affected her a lot. She tried to keep her stoic facade. "Did you hear? She keeps on getting praised by the teachers. I heard them from outside the teacher's lounge" "What's so special about that ugly nerd? She should just die in a hole". "Just jump off a cliff and die already!" The gossips behind her back were not quiet enough for her to be able to ignore. All the looks they gave her were full of hate and disgust. 'If I disappear, would it be better for everyone? Would the pain go away permanently?' the girl thought to herself.
The girl's mother screamed and tears began to stream down her eyes. She had found her daughter lying unconscious on the floor with no pulse. The box of pills were found beside her. The police investigated and said that the faint bruises on her body was of no doubt from beatings. The mother had cried as she regretted not being able to be there for her daughter. She blamed herself for not being able to find out about the bullying, the pain her daughter went through.
A funeral was held days later. The mother was silently crying and a hand was placed on her shoulder. "Our condolence. It is our fault for not noticing your daughter's situation at school, we deeply apologize" said the girl's homeroom teacher. The school had received a note about the girl's death. It was announced to the class and many regretted their actions. People left the graveyard after the funeral. All except the mother and the group of friends who had started it all. "We apologize. We know it won't bring her back, but we regret our actions" they said. The mother said nothing and left the group of friends. The group of friends stared at the grave and whispered their apologies, even if they knew that it was too late.
They say: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". True it may be that words can't hurt you physically like sticks and stones, but they can hurt you mentally. Some may not show it, but it sometimes hurts to be called names, to be gossiped or trash talked behind your back. Sure you might say something as a joke,but always be careful of what you say. Every word counts. A single word can have the greatest impact on a person.
Never believe those harsh and foul words they say about you. They can call you abnormal or weird if they want, but as I like to ask when someone says that something is unusual: "What is normal anyways?"
It is hard to ignore insults, especially if it is about how ones personality is. Just remember: You are you. Nothing can change that, so always be proud of yourself. Different is good. Can you imagine how the world would be if everyone is alike? Everyone is different and special in their own way. Never forget. If it gets too hard, talk to someone and never be afraid of standing up for yourself. A little help won't hurt, everyone needs it at some point.
