chad and brade

Emily the horrible person

"She's lying, bro."

Chad let out an aggravated sigh, rolling his emerald green orbs. "This again, Brad? She's not lying, man," he argued stubbornly. "I know what she's about. We want the same things."

"Dude, yeah she is," Brad huffed. When he crossed his arms, his firm muscles strained against his North-South-East-West Lake High's blue-and-gold varsity jacket, which he never took off. He wasn't supposed to wear it over the school uniform, but he didn't care because he was a jock. "Believe me, you do not want the same things."

Brad's irises, the color of a sparkling birch forest in the summertime, rolled in annoyance (again). "Bro, how are you so sure, dude?"

Scoffing to himself in satisfaction, Chad shrugged one shoulder. "Dude bro, follow me, man," he said. "Man, I'll show you."

He led Brad down the hall. The crowds mostly parted for them, and the distracted wimpy nerds that didn't were shoved out of the way by their broad, masculine, manly shoulders. Brad followed along just to shut him up, looking boredly around himself and tossing the football he always carried around with him for no reason. Every classroom they passed was empty since Rich-Old-White-Man's-Name High School only had teachers around when there were fights to break up and projects to assign between nerds and bad boys for the sake of matchmaking.

Chad stopped in front of Emily's locker. "Dude bro man bro, you think fun is what she wants most? Well, you're wrong; get a load of what she really wants most."

He slammed his fist against the lock, breaking it open with his sheer man-strength, and Brad's jaw dropped.

Squeezed in with her textbooks and folders were novel after novel -- romance novel after romance novel. And not the sort of lesbian erotica Brad wanted to see. Books with titles like Love is the Cure and When a Prince Falls for a Country Girl. What made it all worse were the pictures taped to the locker door -- pictures of him. And her. Together.

"What she wants most," said Chad, "Is c-"

"Don't say it," Brad gasped, running an anxious hand through his mid-length shiny golden blonde locks.

"The C-word," Chad whispered instead.

Commitment.

The scary part wasn't that Emily wanted it.

The scary part was the fact that she wanted it, and the idea didn't make Brad want to run away screaming.

Chad burst into a fit of laughs, but Brad couldn't join in. When Chad noticed, he faltered in his guffaws.

"Dude, what's wrong, man?" Chad said, still chuckling to himself.

"Bro, I don't know," Brad said quietly, looking down in shame so that his luscious hair fell into his eyes. "Maybe it's not so bad."

That got Chad started again. He threw his head back and chortled heartily. "You're kidding, right?"

Embarrassed, Brad blushed. "Yeah, kidding."

Chad snickered. "You had me worried there, bro," he sniggered.

But then Brad looked back up at the photos on the door. Looking at the polaroid selfie of him and Emily sitting on Emily's bed, with Emily's glasses crooked on her nose and her hair tied up in a messy bun, he felt butterflies all over his stomach.

"Maybe I'm not, man," said Brad.

Chad's giggling came to an abrupt stop.

"You're serious about this?"

Brad sighed. "There's just something about her. She's . . . not like other girls. She doesn't like parties. She reads. She's so shy until you make her mad. She walks around in sweatpants and t-shirts and wears freaking glasses. With no makeup. And yeah, I guess she's not as conventionally attractive as other girls I've been with--" (A/N: Actress for Emily is Kendall Jenner) "--but maybe it's time for things to change. I think-- I think I'm in love."

Chad's ocean-spray blue eyes shot wide open. "You met her two days ago!"

"It doesn't matter, dude! I'm in love."

"B-but dude," Chad said, his cerulean orbs welling up in tears. "I'm in love, too. With you."

Brad felt as if his whole world had turned upside down. He whipped around to face Chad, and it suddenly hit him -- how could he not have seen it before? Those eyes, that curly, shaved-on-the-sides-but-longer-on-top, brown-with-natural-blonde-highlights-from-the-sun hair, that epic body; Chad was the one. He looked at the picture of Emily that had given him butterflies moments before and felt the urge to vomit.

"Dude, I think I love you too!" he proclaimed. Chad's face lit up. "I liked girls before, but I'm gay now because gay and straight are the only sexualities! I can't believe that bitch Emily was trying to get between our love for one another! How dare she follow her feelings when there was a secret gay love that she didn't know about going on in the background! Everyone should hate her!"