Something to live for- kuroo x male reader

Prologue - created for perfection, nothing less.

Author's note: This was originally chapter one but it's mostly introducing characters and relationships so I made it the prologue ^^ please enjoy!
Also! I'd like to thank my dear friend ace for being my beta reader on this book! I think having a beta reading is really gonna improve my writing skills <3

Song: screams and dreams by faye
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I have this fantasy, one that I've had since I was a kid. I live in this quaint little cottage in the middle of the woods. Though the space around me is filled with trees, I can feel this incredibly vast emptiness. However in that emptiness, I find great comfort. I'm aware that any direction I walk in will take me to a whole different landscape, for example walking West will bring me to the mountains. East, to the river. North, to the desert. And South, to the grasslands.
And if I walk for long enough through any of these terrains I'll be led to a whole new land.
There are so many possibilities, so many choices. And even though this world of mine is lonely and empty, it's mine. I have choices to make and if I change my mind that's fine, I can just keep walking. I truly wish this world was real, a little cottage in the forest away from anyone and everyone. A place where I can feel truly free.

"Y/n?" My fathers voice pulled me back into reality from my imaginative state. "Hm?" I questioned, looking up to the man. My father only looked towards the door behind me, giving someone a polite smile.
"I'm sorry about him, he gets distracted quite easily at times." My father joked rather dryly, humor never was his strong suit I suppose.
I turned my attention to the door to see three people, a man and woman around the same age as my parents. Then I see a young woman who looked to be my age.
'So that's her...'

"Well don't be shy Y/n, introduce yourself" my mother placed her hand on my shoulder, gently pushing me towards the young woman. "Of course..." I promptly stepped towards her, extending my arm with a polite smile, a learned smile. "A pleasure to meet you miss, I'm L/n Y/n."
"The pleasure is all mine, my name is Sasaki Akiko. Though please, call me Akiko" she spoke in a gentle voice, one that was carefully crafted and undoubtedly practiced time and time again as any good aristocrat is raised to do.

"In that case you can call me Y/n."
Akiko's mother smiled sweetly at my parents "he seems like a very nice young man."
My father chuckled "what a coincidence, I was just about to say the same thing about your Akiko."
'God it's painful to listen to them talk, every word from their mouths feels so... plastic. It's all fabricated to give off the illusion of a strong bond between our families. Though I'm sure I sound no different.'
"How about you two get to know each other better? You can leave us to all of the boring parts." My mother urged, shooing the two of us out of the drawing room.

I heard the soft creak and subsequent click of the doors shutting behind us. My gaze moved to Akiko. She was quite a pretty girl, she had a graceful air about her, the very sight of this woman was reminiscent of a gentle spring breeze. She had chestnut brown hair with deep green eyes and a passive smile steady on her face. She wore a white dress with heels, earrings, and hair pins to match. Akiko is my fiancé-to-be, though beautiful as she is, I don't want to marry this woman. Even so, I have no say in this marriage. It's my responsibility so long as I wish to inherit my family's company.

"Would you like to see the gardens?" I forced a charming smile when I spoke with the woman "That sounds nice" she chimed in a voice sweet as Sucralose but just as manufactured.
The two of us exchanged few words on our way to the gardens, though when we arrived she seemed quite happy.
Akiko bent down to look at the carnations, gently running her fingers along the flowers petals. She then moved her hand up to brush the hair that fell into her face.
"I truly love flowers. don't you?" She asked.

"I could tell, your earrings and hair pins are jasmines aren't they? Those are actually my favorites." That part wasn't a lie at least, the balcony outside of my bedroom had jasmine vines all along it, the scent of the blooming flowers in spring has always brought me so much comfort.
"Really? Looks like we've got something in common already!"
Akiko spoke in quite a bubbly tone, one that really did seem genuine. it's like she could be happy in just about any situation, I can certainly envy that.

"So... we're going to be married soon. Are you excited?" She asked, looking up at me from her spot crouched among the flowers.
"Well I uh..."
'I'm better than this, I was raised to be better than this. I shouldn't stutter or hesitate when speaking, it shows weakness. But it feels so wrong to tell this woman I want to marry her'
Akiko only giggled at my flustered state. "No need to hurt yourself stretching there Y/n, you don't need to be ecstatic over a marriage that you had no choice in." Her tone had become much more casual than it had been before. I let out a soft sigh, relaxing a bit more around the woman.

"Thank you Akiko."
"No problem! Though I do hope we'll get to know each other over time." She beamed, her smile like an gentle ray of light on a stormy day.
"You seem like quite a happy person, it's refreshing honestly. Almost everyone around here seems so drained all the time..."
"I'm glad I come across that way, I try my best to lighten up the mood however I can!"
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The day I met Akiko was the day I met a lifelong friend, but that's all she'll ever be to me. Even after getting to know the woman for the last three months, I haven't been able to see her as anything but a friend. But why not? She's kind, funny, affectionate, we have lots of the same interests too! But I don't think I love her.

"Y/n, I need a favor." My fathers voice called for me from behind his office doors. I pulled on the cold metal handle, peeking into his office.
"What can I do for you?"
"I'm quite busy with meetings today, I need you to run these forms down to the volleyball association for me. Just ask for Kuroo Tetsurou"
"Got it." I stepped into my fathers office, taking the papers from him before promptly walking out.

I don't exactly have a bad relationship with my parents, not to say it's good either. As long as I could remember, every interaction with them... it felt like speaking to a business partner. Not to my "loving" parents.
My childhood was basically a training course on being rich, elegant, and charming.
I was raised to be the perfect Prince Charming, and now I've been paired with the perfect princess. Is it wrong that I wish I had a different life? Am I just being ungrateful?

"Dianne will bring you to their offices, please follow her." My father called out before I left. I made my way outside to see Dianne waiting with a gentle smile on her face. "Morning anne!" I chimed. "Good morning n/n."
Dianne has been our family's housekeeper for 40 years now, my father was still young when she first took on the position.
Dianne is an older woman, 65 I believe. She keeps her grey hair tied neatly into a low bun, a blue flower pin holding her bangs out of her face. She also has two beauty marks on her face, one beneath her left eye and the other under the right side of her mouth. From what my father told me, as a teenager some of the other housekeepers used to flirt with Dianne quite often. That isn't all that surprising though, she's about as kind as people come.

Dianne has always been my favorite. growing up, she acted as more of a parent to me than my real parents did. And I'm sure as hell more comfortable around her than my parents.
We got into the car and made idle chatter on the drive, though one question in particular brought back the rushing waves of anxiety that had kept me up at night for weeks. "Oh how is that darling fiancé of yours? I really do just adore that girl!"
"Oh uh- she's... she's good."
"You don't sound too confident about that, is everything alright n/n?"
"Yes I'm alright, sorry about that Anne. I think the whole arranged marriage thing has just made me a bit anxious lately. I'm sure things will work out fine with her though."
Anne gave me a soft nod "well if you ever need to talk, I'm here for you."

Looking back at that day, I wasn't exactly wrong. Things did work out wonderfully with Akiko. Just not quite in the way I thought they would...

To be continued