i was in the club when the dj stop the music and say "club penguin go bye bye" i passed out on the dance floor and got my head stomped in and was rushed to hospital where the doctors performed many surgeries while I was unconscious luckily I survived but it would leave a detrimental effect on me in later life I woke up a few hours after the surgeries to a hot hunk of a man sitting beside my bed... there were still tears in my eyes and he wiped them away with his soft veiny hands... I was lovestruck.. "don't be sad baby michael cera is here" he said in his deep, comforting voice. I would never forget those words for my entire life. he smiled at me and began to show me his minion vore collections while the doctors checked my vitals. I had fallen so deeply in love that I got distracted from what I was really here for.. "michael.." I said, he averted his gaze away from his photo of gru swallowing bob whole to look me in my eyes.. his eyes were so big, brown and beautiful they reminded me of horse manure. "what happened to..club penguin" his eyes immediately widened and he started to cry. "look babygirl.. club penguin.. it's.." he took a dep inhale "gone.. forever" I was so distraught I detatched my iv and did a cannonball out of the hospital window while michael shouted my name. I fell onto the hood of a bmw and left a huge dent and bf from friday night funkin got out just to scream at me. I started crying as he belittled me "beep bop beep bop birch" but then he saw that I wasn't crying bc of him... "beep bop beep bop" he asked me and I told him "club penguin is dead.. I'm emo now" he gasped and his blue eyes started to well up with tears. "beep bop beep bop..." i could feel the pain in his voice. "boyfriend friday night funkin.. can you please make a grime trap remix to honour club penguin" bf nodded sadly.. "beep bop beep bop.." what an honourable man to still write music while he's emo. "thank you bf friday night funkin I will add it to my depression playlist and listen to it every time I cry..." boyfriend friday night funkin took a microphone out of his ass and opened the boot of his car and unlocked the cage inside. gf friday night funkin stepped out and he told her everything "beep bop beep bop" she gasped and fell to her knees... her tears creating puddles on the concrete. I began to run out of the parking lot as fast as I possibly could until I reached a vape shop.. I needed something to reliev myself from the pain. I went inside and saw the receptionist crying and I asked him what the matter was. he lifted his head up and revealed his identity as... dwayne the rock johnson... he raised his eyebrow at me.. "you look like a mess.." he said sadly, "I hate to see people so emo and brocken like me.." his eyes were defined by dark black eyeliner that complimented his skin tone and he was wearing black lipstick.. i've never seen the rock so goth before... "did you hear about club penguin..." his eyes widened like I talked about bruno and he lowered his bald head "yes...that's why I am crying you see" I nodded and bought some lasagna flavoured vape "that's my favourite one.." said the rock, "I will give you it for free because I feel for my fellow emos.." I thanked him and left the shop.. I went into a dark alleyway and started to smoke the vape like a true emo until I hear someone approach me.. "do I smell lasagna.." I looked up to see a 9ft tall ginger cat.. wow it is garfield.. when did he get so tall. "wow garfield I am such a big fan.. do you want a hit of my lasagna vape.." the ginger cat smiled at me gingerly and nodded "yes please.." I handed him the vape and he ate it and then blew up becauee of the nicotine the end
authors note: i have no fucking clue who michael cera is and I was dared to post this ❤️
