Tsukimi's First Fashion Show

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I wipe my sweaty hands on my silky pink knee-length dress, take a deep breath... and start having a panic attack. I press my left palm against my chest while rapidly fanning myself with my right hand, starting to quickly pace back and forth across the wooden floor in the dimly-lit room. A lump rises in my throat and my breaths begin to come out short and shallow. I can't breathe! Someone help me! Get me of this stupid st- "Tsukimi, go! That's your cue!" I freeze and snap out of my thoughts with that hurried whisper, turning my head, brown eyes wide. Kuranosuke is frantically gesturing towards the heavy blue curtain in front of me.

I'm about to respond, when he rolls his slate-grey eyes, sighs agitatedly, and walks over to me, giving me a light push on the back. Now, that shouldn't have done anything, but with my high-heel inexperience, it causes me to trip over my own two feet, stumble forward through the curtains, and let out a strangled cry of protest.

All eyes and lights instantly focus on me. I feel my legs turn to Jell-O. Deep breaths Tsukimi, deep breaths. Timidly, I take a wobbly step forward and start to walk down the runway with a fake smile plastered onto my face. Everywhere, people are yelling and booing; a cacophony of jeering surrounding me. My chest tightens, my knees feel like they're about to buckle. Don't you dare have another panic attack! I grit my teeth and force the smile to painfully remain on my face. My fists clench by my sides... and then unclench. From amongst it all, I hear a lone cheer... and.. some clapping? I open my mouth, speechless, probably looking like a fish as it dawns on me. It was my imagination the whole time. There was never any hateful shouting! Way to go, genius!

The realization that the audience actually likes me paralyzes me. My heart skips a beat as I almost miss a step. I catch myself. The corners of my lips start to turn upwards in a smile, real this time, as I gaze around the wide room, actually seeing it for the first time. My strides match the beat of the pop music vibrating the runway beneath my feet, dark curls bouncing on my shoulders as my hips begin to move from side to side in time with my steps. Strobe lights dance and pulse throughout the dark room, lighting up the grinning faces of the cheering people with pinks, greens and yellows. I wave and blow kisses to the clicking and flashing cameras all around me, beaming.

Adrenaline rushes through my blood. The music, the lights - everything, seems so surreal. I reach the end of the runway. A vast sea of people all face me; it feels like I could so easily get swallowed up by the moving mass of bodies..

No.

The thought disappears from my mind as quickly as it appeared. No more fear. I raise my chin up and push my shoulders back as I stand defiantly in front of the crowd with a straight face. Then, I feel it. The sensation of my body getting lighter. Of the fear and doubt I've lived with for years, dissolving; dissipating into thin air. I take a deep breath, and exhale. A rush of dizziness washes over me and I smile, because I know, that I've finally broken free from fear.

I am free.

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 01, 2017 ⏰

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