Liz has been staring at her phone for two hours straight, she's debating whether she just crush the hell out of her phone or to call someone to someone to ask why she's not texting her anymore.
She's distracted whenever she heard nothing from her no 'good morning jagi' or 'good night' neither 'how are you?' or 'take care always' messages from someone and it's making her lose her mind.
The fact that she can't make herself do the first move is already a headache.
She's just a person who's full of pride and she knows it.
"Damn" she cussed standing up to get some water to refresh her mind and also to calm her nerves down.
Liz doesn't even know why she's freaking out.
But while she's drinking, she heard her phone suddenly rings so without hesitation, Liz immediately put down the glass of water, going straight where her phone is, she even slightly slipped but she doesn't give a damn.
Liz saw the name of the person she was waiting for but when she was about to answer, the sudden realization hits her.
'Why do you need to answer her?' A voice speaks in her head.
On a second thought, she retreated her hand back that was about to press the green button and thinks for a while.
It has been weeks or already months since she received calls from Rei but never answered one of her calls for some reason.
She would just press the red button and leave her phone silent. Sometimes she turns it off, not caring about the conscience kicking in for ignoring someone who genuinely cares.
The blonde haired was way too lost in her thoughts when she accidentally pressed the green button that made her answer Rei's call.
"Shit" she whispered and was about to end the call when Rei suddenly speak.
"Finally you answered"
Liz froze, hearing her voice makes her feel something, something she doesn't want to find out for now.
"You don't need to talk or to respond, this won't take long I just need you to listen" Rei speaks on the other line.
The cheerful voice of Rei she always hear disappear and changed by a formal and cold tone of her.
She can't blame her anyway, it was her fault for giving her silent treatments and acted like she doesn't exist in this planet.
"Yujin and Leeseo are coming home this weekend from Jeju and they planned a dinner for us six" she continued, Liz just obey her listening carefully while making herself calm down.
"And I heard that Wonyoung's planning to do something with Gaeul for something i don't know, we don't know, but they'll probably partner us two" she heard Rei breathed deeply before she continued.
"So what do you think we should do?"
The real question is what should Liz do?
She don't want to get involved with her right now.
Not when she's still finding out what she really felt about Rei.
"It's hard to tell people what you really wanted to tell them and ends up being ignored" Rei speaks again.
Liz slowly feels the coldness of Rei's voice overtaking her.
"And it's hard to leave people when they're already have a place somewhere in your heart"
Liz tightened her grip of her phone, she wanted to tell something yet she can't utter a single word.
"So, you're already doing that to me Jiwon"
Rei paused, Liz's heartbeat become slow and loud as she felt pain and bitterness in Rei's words.
"What really am I to you?"
Liz was once again, not be able to speak. She wants to say something but her brain is not cooperating with her.
"I'm sure we're not friends nor lovers though we're just getting there but as we're in the process, you always got me thinking, why do I feel like you're slowly slipping away?"
"I'm not sure what relationship we are both into" Rei added.
Liz also thinks about it, she also thinks of Rei's place in her life. She knows too well what the Japanese girl feels about her.
The way she treats her more than a friend, and the stares she's giving it's different, way different than before.
She's not gonna lie that she also felt the butterflies yet she's afraid, afraid that they might end up like some of her friends' messy relationship.
"You're overthinking it and I always give you the assurance you need but you're still unsure about me"
Liz just listens because that's what she can do right now, to let Rei speak and let herself be crushed by the truth.
"The blame's not on you though, it's not easy to trust someone"
Liz closed her eyes, feeling the sad yet cold voice of Rei.
"Rei" she mumbled.
"So the reason I called you is I want you to act that we're okay infront of them. Just like the old times. Then after it," Rei paused.
"I'm letting you go" Liz opened her eyes, frowning.
"I won't chase you anymore. That sixteen months are already enough chasing someone I can't have and I've realized it's better off this way"
The blonde haired didn't really want her to leave. She couldn't just say it.
"So Kim Jiwon, I finally loved you and goodbye my favorite almost." Rei ended the call right after she said those words that left such a huge scar on her heart.
Liz looked at her phone, she saw how a water dropped on the screen, she thought it's just nothing not until the water dropped more.
She touched her face feeling the tears flowing from her eyes.
It took her a while to get herself back from the emotions she felt ago. And now, she felt empty.
She loved her early while the blonde haired realized it too late after all, everything was close to perfect.
Almost perfect.
—angst, angst, angst
