𝗱𝘆𝘀𝗽𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗰 𝗲𝘂𝗽𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗮 || [1] Nate Jacobs

9

I look at my outfit again before I leave my room and walk downstairs. "Dad, where are you?" "We're in the living room," he answers and I join them. He's lying on the couch with Rosie sleeping on his stomach. I'm so glad to have him in our lives. I couldn't have done it without him. "Are you going out?" he asks and I force myself to smile. "Yeah, Kat invited me to her home," I lie and he smiles. "I'm glad that you're making friends. I think moving here was good for us" My phone vibrates and I sigh as soon as I see who texted me.

@nate.jacobs18: I'm outside

"Kat is here. I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him and bend down to kiss his cheek. I then kiss my baby on the head and walk out of the room. "Have fun" "I will," I reply and grab my jacket and keys before leaving the house and walking up to the truck. I can see Nate smiling at me but I refuse to look at him and quietly get in the car. "You look good," he compliments me and I put on my seatbelt in annoyance. "Drive before I change my mind"

He chuckles and drives off.

————

Nate parks the car in a dark area and turns off the engine. I warily look around and then turn back to him. He's already staring at me and my heart starts to race. Not because of his handsome face or shit, but because he stopped the car in a dark and secluded area I've never been to. "Why are we here?" I ask him and he smiles. It's a beautiful smile but really unsettling right now. "You look really good tonight," he compliments me again and I roll my eyes. "Tell me why I'm here or I'm getting out of the car. I'm not playing games with you"

"You wanted to know what happened to Tyler, right? He got what he deserved for raping a girl," he answers and I stare at him in shock. His voice dropped down and his eyes darkened to the point where they look black. "You sound like a psycho. I don't want to be associated with someone like you," I snap at him and he leans back in his seat. "And I want to get to know you. You're a beautiful girl and I'm attracted to you"

I stare at him in disbelief and start opening my seat belt. "You've lost your mind," I tell him and go to open the door but he grabs my wrist. Oh I'm in deep shit. "Listen, Nate. You're with Maddy again and I'm trying to stay away from trouble aka you" He let's go of me again and I look over at him in surprise. "Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't have- I'm so fucked up in the head that I forgot how to treat people right. Fuck, I-I'm sorry," he admits and his mood change surprises me even more.

He suddenly looks really vulnerable and I feel kinda bad for him. I've only heard bad things by Maddy but I don't know his backstory. He could be dealing with many things and here I am...judging him. He's only been nice to me. Maybe I'm in the wrong here.

"No, I should be sorry for going off like that. I've been going through a lot of things lately and shouldn't take it out on you," I apologize and he takes my hand in his. I try to pull it back but he keeps holding it. The warmth and intimacy of two joined hands is something I haven't felt in a long time and I hate that I somehow enjoy this.

"It's okay if we're both fucked up. Maybe we can help each other"

————

Desi wasn't sure about that part but she didn't try to push him away again. She still was suspicious of Nate but she tried to enjoy herself that night. She finally had time to be a teenager and forget the troubles of motherhood and depression for a few hours. I know it's really fucked up, but I can understand why even the warmth of his hand triggered something in her.

When the drugs first took away my pain, I never wanted to lose that feeling again. That moment when your breath starts to slow. And every time you breathe, you breathe out all the oxygen you have. And everything stops: your heart, your lungs, then finally, your brain. And everything you feel, and wish, and want to forget, it all just sinks. And then suddenly...you give it air again, give it life again.

————

Nate drops me off at home and I watch his car drive away before I enter my house. It seems like everybody is already sleeping. That's why I walk in the kitchen and prep myself a glass of white wine. I don't know how it happened but I feel different about Nate. He now seems more human in my eyes. I really didn't expect him to tell me about him knowing that his father cheats on his mother. He seemed really sad about it. The version I saw of him was totally different to what Maddy told me.

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone and I look at the new text messages with conflicted feelings.

@nate.jacobs18: I enjoyed myself today
@nate.jacobs18: let me take you out again

Maddy 💅🏻💸: I feel bad bc of the fight
Maddy 💅🏻💸: let's have a girls night tomorrow

I keep staring at the messages and take a big gulp of my wine.

————

"Dad, I'll be back in a few hours. Rosie is sleeping upstairs and Marta should be back in an hour. You'll be fine, right?" He looks up from his laptop and nods. "You look great, puddin'. Are you hanging out with Maddy again?" he asks an I shake my head. "No, I already spent the last two days with her. Cassie is going to show me her favorite movie today," I say and he smiles. "Have fun" "Thanks," I tell him and hand my dad the babyphone before I leave the house.

The silver truck is already parked outside and I get in before we drive off. "You look amazing"

"Thank you, Nate"

————

Just like I said, right? He found her fucking weak spot, which is family trauma, and now tries to fill the void in her heart by squeezing himself into it. Nate Jacobs willingly turned himself into an addictive drug Destiny wanted and almost all of us realized it too late.

I remember the first time the drugs took all the stress away from me and I was surrounded by silence. I got so scared I wanted to call 911. Go to the hospital and be kept alive by machines and apple juice. But I didn't want to look like an idiot, and I didn't want to fuck up everyone's night. And then over time, it's all I wanted... those two seconds of nothingness.

And Destiny felt the same.

————

AN: sooo...Nate is at it again