3 AM Confessions

3. Reflection

I have stared into this mirror for so long
that I have convinced myself
that if I look long enough, I will find
that staring back at me is someone else -
a familiar stranger, he is,
someone I knew once upon a time,
someone that I love, that I hate, that I miss
with memories too distant to know why.
As these shards fall to the floor,
they shatter.
Every piece of me I ever thought
would never matter
lies broken,
but still within my reach.

I can still see him,
but just when I reach him,
I find myself alone, all alone,
left to bleed, to bleed.
I scream
as I try to piece
back this piece of me,
and I bleed.

I have stayed in my head for too long,
locked behind a door in my mind.
These fears are relentless; they haunt me day and night.
Where am I to run when there's nowhere to hide?
Tell me this is just a dream,
that I'll wake up to find that there's only me,
not this
delusional mess
that I've grown so used to seeing
in my reflection.

I can still see him,
but just when I reach him,
I find myself alone, all alone,
left to bleed, to bleed.
I scream
as I try to piece
back this piece of me,
and I bleed.

Promises to forget him,
this ghost of me,
are all in vain,
and still, I bleed,
for I know I will never
catch him,
but the thought leaves me so empty,
so I reach
for him anyway.

I reach,
and I scream,
and I bleed.
I bleed.