Casey's world.

Who the hell is Casey?

Sunday 12/4/2015:

People often say that the ones that you love will hurt you the most and I used to laugh at the audacity some people had but those people...well they tended to be right.

If my life was a movie right now would be the music interlude or the wise quote section where the audience really starts to pay attention but for now all I have is a brand new bedroom that I have tried to make more like me. See, I moved houses a few weeks ago, nothing big just to a completely different country and so far I've locked myself up in my room.

My Mum used to think that my Dad was gonna be it for her and I was their only child. 2 children and a divorce later she was learning not to be so....literal. It was harder on her than it was on the 2 of us, me and my older brother Grayson. She was the one living in a completely different country away from her 'support net' but hopefully it will do her good to be away from the asshole.

This 'book' I'm writing in is basically my only best friend. You are my only best friend now as Tish won't talk to me and Abigail only gave me uh...you and told me to not contact her until the go ahead.

I miss them, surprisingly. I don't think I really understood what it would be like away from my own 'support net' but the one thing that I wish I had-

"Casey, honey can you uh, come down here please?" My mother sounded more aspirated by the second but never the less she still managed to sound rather frustrated. Mum had Grayson when she and my father where still in High school, Grayson knows that he was the reason that Mum and Dad didn't get to have a 'college-hood' but Mum usually tells him not to worry, she obviously didn't, I mean the women doesn't even have one wrinkle!

"Sure thing" I yell back down to her, pushing the desk chair back I stand briskly, slapping the journal I was writing in before closed, swiftly hiding under my pillow as Grayson pops his head in.

"Seriously Cas? Mum called you down ages ago" Grayson was the typical older brother. Short tempered, brash, complete with a set of extremely good looking friends. Who where all back in Australia and whom I viewed as more, older brothers. Grayson himself though looked a lot like Mum except he had short curled blonde hair, blue eyes and tanned skin that wasn't even covered in a single dot of anything and he was also extremely tall.

What every American must think 'Aussies' look like.

I, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. Short and tanned with grey eyes and straight brown hair. I was dull and boring compared to the rest of my family because well, no-one really knows where my looks came from. My mother often favoured my brother and I know it's because he looks like her but half the time I don't even care. I used to be a 'Dad's girl' although I guess now I'm no one's girl.

Blinking my almond shaped grey eyes at my brother I smiled sheepishly and slowly removed myself from the bed. He had, whilst I was gone off in my little world, retreated into my room and was standing in front of me.

"Sorry Gray, I wasn't paying attention. I guess I'm still a little tired" gesturing around my room with flailing hands I walked towards the door, skidding my feet with every short step "now are you coming or-?" I left the question with a blank and darted from the room, racing down the floor board covered hallway into the sitting area where my mother was, ironically pacing.

"Hey Mum" I gave her a short jaunted wave before chucking myself into one of the more comfortable lounge chairs. It was absolutely perfect to sit in and the look on Grayson's face when he realized he would have to sit on the 'uncomfortable chair; was worth sinking down into it like I was in quick sand.

"Okay, so Casey you're in grade 10 this year and Grayson you're in grade 11 so you will need to be more-" she paused and for some reason I couldn't help but think she was trying to be dramatic but then I remembered that my mum has no sense of drama "-independent. So starting tomorrow you will be walking to the senior school." with a clap of her hands and a nod of her head my mother turned on her heal and went back to the task of moving all our shit into the kitchen. 

"Casey, are you okay with this? I mean you weren't to happy about the moving when Mum brought it up but I mea-" Grayson was trying on all that self help feely crap and I've had enough of it but at least he was trying, Mum was ignoring the problem by just...letting it stew I guess.

"Grayson I swear to God if you keep asking me I'm going to rip out your tongue and wrap it around your neck. When I said I was fine, I'm fine. So leave me alone with all your self help touchy feely crap okay?" I didn't mean to go off at him but by the end of my rant I was breathing harshly with pent up anger. Ever since Dad announced he was leaving Mum, we've shoved all our feelings down and ignored them.

Grayson raises his hands in a 'world peace' sign or an 'I surrender' before slowly backing away. He's smart like that sometimes, other time's he's as smart as a piece of bread.

Stomping away from my smart-ass brother I tuned at everything before walking back to my 'room'. Slamming the door behind me, I lean against it and take a deep breath, resting my head against it as well. I want to be positive but honestly, I just want to go home.

Pushing myself off my bedroom door I use my eyes to find my bed clothes, a pair of bike shorts and an over-sized top. It used to be my Dad's and it still kind of smells like he used too, a little like comfort and warmth and what family used to mean. Slipping into the comfy clothes I sluggishly pull back the covers of my queen bed and hop into the heated bedding. Bless hot water bottles.

My eyes slip closed and I sigh as I allow myself to drift to sleep.