In sujood I found what I lost

The deeds

There she was walking the earths. Known as many names. The things she'd do just for validation from others. Loosing all religious touches except mosque but that was so she could just socialise and daydream. That ended in tragedy that lead her to failing again and again. She was confused by what had led her to this moment but she had no care what so ever at the start of the mosque years. She would revise the night before hoping it would be enough but how could life pass a person who's drifted from the religion and was only here for the socialisation and comfort of others. And things were no different at school trying to fit in by going against what her mothers wishes were. Which led to fights and also leading her to nearly forget her shahada. The only reason she hadn't lost her self completely was because of the consistent chances الله had gave her. Not giving up on her knowing she would turn back to him. And even if it meant taking little steps but the little steps are THE ones that count. الله says "Take one step toward me, I will take ten steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you." It was that simple but she still only showed interest in her deen when she had messed up or needed something. Then there was the Turing point where her mistakes took over and she felt alone. Trying to find something or someone to blame. Even going as low to think it was due to an illness she may have. Taking online tests thinking it's depression but it was just the feeling of regret. And that's when she saw the time and decided to change her ways..