You're being irrational

Seashells

Fuck!

Emica gripped the steering wheel tight while Gakushuu was in the backseat, looking scared.

She didn't blame him; she was terrified too.

Where was she even supposed to go? Gakuhou knew she was going to her mother's now, and what if he called the police? She couldn't go there now... she had to think of another plan.

Emica took a deep breath, stopping at a red light, trying to stop her foot from shaking, pressing harder on the break. "Shit."

"Is dad gonna be okay?" He was hugging his backpack close like he was hiding behind it.

Emica swallowed a lump in her throat, checking the rear-view mirror. "Daddy's going be fine, sweetie. He's just sleeping."

"But, you hurt him." Gakushuu's voice wobbled. Scared of her.

"I..." She dug her nails into the steering wheel. "I know I did, baby. I know but... I had to because...I just had to, okay?" She swallowed a lump in her throat. "Um, you want your music?" She picked up the green tape from the glove compartment. "Let's put on the number song."

Her hands were shaking so bad she nearly dropped the tape while trying to put it in.

"...I wanna go home," Gakushuu mumbled quietly, making her chest tighten.

Emica's eyes stung. "I know, sweetie. I'm sorry." She turned up the volume, as cheery music blasted from the speakers.

She drove on when the light turned green. The road ahead deserted considering how early it was.

Her thoughts kept drifting to her husband that she'd left unconscious on the floor. There hadn't been any real bleeding so he should be fine...

She should have called the ambulance. What if he died?

"Shit," Emica swore under her breath, holding back tears. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" she whispered, feeling like a monster.

Would he call the police as soon as he gained consciousness? Then what? Should she go to the police first?

"Damn it." Emica ran a hand through her hair, driving the main route to her mother's since she didn't know what else she was supposed to do.

"Mommy, I want to go home," Gakushuu spoke over the music, even though she tried to ignore him. "I want dad—"

Emica turned up the volume, drowning his voice out.

***

Gakushuu had drifted off to sleep without realising when his mom stopped the car.

"Gakushuu?" his mom's voice was soft.

He stirred awake, rubbing his eyes. For a second hoping he was still at home in his bed, and everything was normal, but when he opened his eyes and realised he was still in his booster seat in the car, those hopes were dashed.

His mom had parked the car outside a petrol station which was surrounded by fields, the city a long-distance away. It was morning now, the sun just rising above the hills.

His stomach dropped when he remembered everything that had happened, clutching his bag. "I want dad."

His mom was silent, clutching the steering wheel too tight in the front seat. "I know you do, sweetie," she replied quietly. "And, I know this is scary and hard to understand but I'm trying to protect you." Her voice wavered. "Your daddy... hasn't been very nice lately, and it's been hard for mommy to stay with him."

Gakushuu grimaced, keeping his gaze low. "Cause you're always fighting..."

"...Yes, we fight a lot," his mom said quietly. "And, sometimes daddy can be scary, can't he?"