I am really embarrassed to post this, but I need help ._. It's not really full of action yet, but I had to start somewhere...any kind of constructive critcism would be appreciated. I need to know if this is worth continuing or not...
“It was peaceful the day my country was taken from me. No noise. No mourning, no dead, no fight, no blood. No lives sacrificed. That was my ultimate goal, to save the blood of my dying people. I felt as though forsook them. In a way, I had. But the Duke had not crossed me yet, and I still clung to his promise that my world would be returned to my people and me.
I had walked over to a wide, floor to ceiling window to fill my lungs with the calming scent of salt and flowers that bloom lazily all year long. Directly in front of me, the ocean shone with every shade of blue, fading into the sky at the horizon. The warm sun was glaring and the tempering breeze was clawing…the usually inviting weather felt as deceitful as my heart. If I stretched my head all the way to the left, then all the way to the right, I imagined I could see all of my islands. I had surveyed my kingdom this way as a young girl. There are eight main islands, thousands of minor pieces, and even more atolls. All of it filled with smiling brown faces with wide brown eyes—each a rip in my gut, a piercing wound, and lacerations to my heart.
My country was never big, but was always filled with strength. I believed that my kingdom would be returned to my people. I still believe it will. But in that moment, I felt as though I was going to sign over my kingdom to that devil beneath the waves. I never realized how true that thought would prove to be.”
The girl stopped and squeezed her eyes shut. She took a slow, deep breath, careful to make it as smooth as possible. Her face relaxed, and tan lids lifted to reveal dark, rounded brown eyes. She saw that her audience, a court of slim bodies surrounding her on silken pillows, was interested, but only because she was a foreigner in this regal court, and self-proclaimed marine royalty at that. She didn’t mind. They would believe her story by the end. They must, it was all she had left.
Getting into the palace was horrible difficult at first. 'A'ala Hualani was in rags from months of travel of which half was spent traversing thousands of miles of ocean. Her only surviving remnant of her royalty was the lei niho momi, a necklace of thousands of finely braded strands of the powerful hair of her people made into a thick cord with a carved and polished whale tooth strung between it. Resting in the flat hook was a large lustrous pearl. It was a sign of extremely high rank, like the crowns those other monarchs wore. Only royal successors were allowed to weave the necklace, let alone afford the heirloom pendant. The island princess doubted any of this country knew that.
A kind couple had found her washed up on shore. They fed her, and pointed her in the direction of the palace with eyes full of confusion and doubt. She was turned away immediately for her appearances. The girl then used a handsome shell to trade for local apparel that was worth far less than what she paid with. The guards listened to her, but refused to do anything, even when shown the few treasures she had left: her necklace, a few other large pearls, and ivory carvings. She’d had to pull her trump card, transforming into a half-fish, a trick she hoped she’d only had to perform for the Emperor.
It was exhausting out of the water and on low food and with high stress, but the robes these people wore allowed her sleek red tail to show with ease. It quickly got their attention. She was cuffed, and dragged into the palace prison with barely enough time for her to get her legs back. Luckily, the were-fishes of her land were not totally unheard of, and someone came to arrange a court hearing for her. She collected her belongings and was finally guided to this room with decorative red panels lined with gold and full of important people. Somewhat offended at all that occurred, the princess fingered her royal necklace of hair and whale ivory and pearl that no one recognized.
Their own hair was blacker than her dark hair and was styled into elaborate circles that almost shone blue in the chandelier lights. They peeked at her curiously from narrow, slanted eyes. Their sallow skin was almost white compared to her brown, and she wondered if they would turn pink in the sun like those who had helped the Duke overrun her country. But she remembered that outside, people were darker just like her. Besides, the court was much different from the other white people. Their eyes, hair, clothes, even the way they sat on their knees attested to the differences. Robes of colors 'A'ala once thought were impossible to weave bloomed around the seated court, but there were no “pants” or “jackets” the other foreigners wore.
The Emperor, whom she demanded present, acknowledged her with a nod, but gave no other indication of his thoughts. He was famous for his fair judgments and wide travels. He had even visited her island domain once, although she was very young hadn’t even the chance to meet him. In fact, the princess had been wrong about her no one recognizing her necklace, although she didn’t know it and the Emperor was probably the only exception. Her tail had persuaded everyone that she was at least a spectacle worth ogling at, but she hoped the Emperor would understand her plea as a ruler, and maybe…maybe what? 'A'ala knew she couldn’t be so bold as to ask for military assistance. She’d be dragging another country into war. But she couldn’t return home until she had a solution for her people. Her kingdom was no longer hers, and evil now flowed through her beautiful lands and waters. The girl remembered how she was tricked, and continued in a stronger voice.
