Alone - In Spirit

CHP 8

Akari grinned at me from her bed, golden eyes sparkling.
"What now?" I frowned softly, watching her tail wag softly.
"I got a brilliant idea." She started.
"What if we pranked dad?"
I sighed, rolling onto my side and hugging my small white teddy bear named Kenai.
"That would just get us both in trouble."
"We could make it so he thinks it wasn't a prank." She suggested.
"The point of a prank is that he realizes it's a prank."
Her tail stopped wagging and she studied me for a moment thoughtfully.
"Hawke...?"
"Yeah?"
"Why doesn't daddy spend any time with us?"
I hesitated to answer.
"All the other pups play with their parents... Why can't mom and dad do that with us?"
I thought for a moment.
"Dad's an alpha, he doesn't have time to deal with us." I explained.
"And mom's also a midwife at the nursery remember? She's busy with the new pups."
Akari nodded quietly and sighed heavily.
"I wish daddy had more time for us..."
I nodded quietly.

The next morning after dad finished with some paperwork, we did some training as usual. It got difficult at some parts, and I got bruised and cut a little bit, but dad said it would give me experience, pain resilience, and would help my wolf practice healing me, so I didn't question it.
After training I was sitting on the stairs to the big cabin when Akari trotted over, her tail swishing.
"Brother."
I glanced at her, ears perking slightly.
"The trees smell weird."
I frowned softly.
"I'm sure it's all in your head." I offered.
"The adults would have noticed if something was wrong."
She nodded but she looked... disturbed. Uncomfortable.
Maybe I should look into it...
"How about this, go ask mom and dad to check it out and see what they say."
Akari bobbed her head and set off with a determined sparkle in her eyes.

Akari had been sort of adopted, we'd found her alone in the woods when she was 3, covered in the smell of smoke and ash. She wasn't actually my sister, but she might as well be. I'd grown up with her since I could remember.
It had taken a few weeks for the pack to get adjusted to her, since she came from another pack, but she was soon covered with the scent of our family, so it started to matter less and less.

I frowned after her and stood to check out the odd scent she'd reported, even though I knew full well a 7-year-old such as myself wouldn't be able to do anything about it, when the sharp smell of fire hit us all.

In a heartbeat the entire camp was engulfed in flames. I was scrambling to find my parents as the chaos of pups crying and parents shouting for their children ensued. I stumbled at the scent of something that burned my nose and eyes. My vision blurred with tears, and I covered my nose with a shaky hand, running as fast as I could to find Akari and mom and dad. Flames nipped at my legs, eager to swallow me whole.
... like they had my parents.

Dad was curled protectively around mom, her head was tucked under his. She blinked at me and smiled softly despite the pain she was obviously in, motioning me over.
I stepped over shakily.
"Mom...?" My voice was shaky and hoarse, hardly my own.
She stroked my fluffy hair gently.
"... I love you..." She whispered.
"My baby boy..."
A whimper forced its way out, and I barely noticed when my dad hugged me to his side.
I was crying, from the pain of the fire, from the prospect of dying, from the reality of losing my family, from the stupid smell that was burning my nose and throat and eyes.
I pulled away gently after a bit and dad petted me.

The way he used to.

"You can't..." I couldn't finish the sentence before life left mom's eyes.
I whimpered. They didn't move.
I whimpered slightly louder. Still silence.
"Mom, dad?" This time I said their names, despite my scratchy throats.
I stared numbly at them.

The next few hours were a blur. Suddenly I didn't care if the fire ate me alive. Suddenly I couldn't feel the smokey air stinging my lungs.
A hand grabbed me roughly, I didn't hear what he said. I snarled, making him flinch, and bit him.
I wanted to be alone.
I wanted to die and peace like mom and dad.
I wanted him to go away.
His gun touched my chest and I growled darkly, my eyes glowing. 

His gun clattered harmlessly to the floor. I didn't care enough to look at his corpse, turning my attention back to my parents.
Would dad be proud?
I'd protected the pack.
I'd killed my very first hunter.
Honestly, I didn't even care if he approved. I didn't care if he smacked me for murdering. I just wanted to feel his touch again. Hear his voice. I wanted to hear mom crying. At least it would be something. Anything.

This time more hands grabbed me and I couldn't stop them from slamming me into a cage. The silver burned my skin and I yelped.
Why could I feel pain?
I hadn't before.
Why now?
I growled as they carried me away from my parents.

Why aren't they dead?
Can they not see the fire?
Can they not see my family?
We passed by burning buildings and dying pups.
They don't care.

But I care.

I care a lot...

Maybe I care too much.

Artemis will understand.

Why I have to do this.