A Girl that doesn't hate love

The Heartbreak I

A Girl that doesn't hate love
I was never the kind of girl who hated love
Not even the Idea of this feeling from up above
I was the kind of girl who opened her arms
And welcomed this feeling, embrace its warmth
I dreamed about it when I fell asleep
And thought about it the whole day
Till it was all I could be
It was all I could breathe in
All I could breathe out
This longing for a feeling I haven't quiet found
Not a single day has ever passed
Where I didn't thought about the Idea of Love
About finding somebody who is all to you
Who is giving you all, never misses the clues
About this one guy, holding my hand
Carrying me safe to Neverland?
Making me feel this feeling again and again
Till I know nothing better
Nothing that ever was mine
That I ever held close in my hand

When I was eleven and first really read about it in a book
A story that got me immediately hooked
I started looking for it everywhere
Trying to find it in every person near
And when I found it and saw how it made people feel
My heart started to flutter because it's such a big deal
And I nearly grow impatient with wanting it too
But I waited till somebody would find my shoe
I filled the space in my heart that wasn't filled
With stories of lovers and love and all the beauty it full fills
I got obsessed with love
This feeling I couldn't find
I longed for it to be a part of my life
But then I grew 16, 17 and 18 too
And I have never found the guy who could love and hold me
And who I could love too
So I started to get scared
That I was a girl
Who could never find love and be lost with herself
Alone, forever
With an empty heart

So I ask myself:
Why haven't I yet met a guy
Like all the stories told me about
Who would make me fly
I am still alone and I feel lonely
Without it
Without Love

But I still don't hate love cause it's so beautiful and kind
It is all that I have ever liked
But when his arm is around her shoulder
Holding you even closer to his chest
I start to think mean things that I shouldn't think about
Things that I should never shout
So I keep it quiet
I keep the smiling up
Pretend it all is a story
That I have made up, in my head
That you two aren't real
Pretending it's not a big deal to me, when it is
That somebody that wasn't even looking for love
Has found this feeling and everything above
While I am still searching and hurting by the fact
That I might never find true love
But I am happy for you
I really am
Cause although I never fell in Love
I know you are my friend
So I let you tell me about this boy
How you are happy with this feeling
That I wish to enjoy too, just a little
And just a little it breaks my heart
To hear your stories about your true love
But I can keep them in my head
To pick up from time to time
When I am lonely again
I can pretend that their mine
And I really care, I love to listen, I really do
But it also breaks my heart knowing that you
Have already found the feeling
I was longing to find
But I am happy, real happy
For you and this guy

So I am not a girl who hates love
I am just a girl that hates the fact
That she could never find true love
Or somebody who does
Love her