Nothing has really changed during the past couple of days. It was just the usual mornings. I just couldn't stop thinking about the necklace, analyzing how it tends to reappear despite my trials of destroying it. What if my birth mother is trying to reach me? Could she be stalking me? What I realized during this trip was that all of my visions are not to be discussed, especially with the ones I'm closest to, as it would rather jeopardize our relationship. Are all of these visions even real?
"What are you doing?" Leia asks, catching me thinking out loud. "I was just..." I try to find a good explanation or at least one that wouldn't make me sound like a maniac. "I was just trying to recite something for my test next week. You know the school's just starting next Tuesday." Leia pauses for a while and says "Ok, well hurry up, dinner's on the table.". I haven't been able to sleep since these nightmares have been occurring, fearing any of them might come true. I've been having really bad headaches, and probably the only energy I've been getting was from caffeine, if that doesn't kill me, I don't know what will. I've been reading all day just to pass time, as I didn't want to leave my brain alone because of how much I overthought everything. The doorbell rang, but I tried to ignore it, hoping someone else would go down and open it, but nobody got up so I gave in and went to see who it was. I opened the door and Mason was resting on the wall with fidgety. I was surprised to see him, especially with how I left the last time I saw him. Isn't he supposed to be graduating soon, why's he occupying his mind with a teenager? I wait for him to say something, but he just stares into space, and I keep trying to figure out what he's trying to say. After a minute of total silence, I shut the door as fast as I can, but he stops it immediately with his shoe. "Look, don't just come here and stand. If you wanna say something, then go for it, nobody's stopping you," I say. I don't know what I would expect from him. Does he want me back? "You look nice, haven't seen you in a while." he runs his fingers through his hair while talking, and I could tell that he was nervous. "Thanks, do you want to come in there? Have some coffee maybe?" I try to smile without looking too happy to see him. "Sure, coffee sounds great." he comes in and waves at Leia who was watching me the entire time, thinking I didn't notice.
He sits in the kitchen, cracking his knuckles, and looks at me when I enter the room. "I wanted to ask you something, Venice." He cracks his knuckles as he looks at me. "Why did you break up with me from the start?" He looks me straight in the eye while talking and I can't tell whether I should be intimidated and or not. "Well, I just thought long distance was not our thing." I try not to nervously smile while I'm talking. I've always tried avoiding confrontations, especially with Mason. I was at a very low point of my life, and I couldn't even tell him why I broke up with him. "So, you didn't like that I was leaving for college." He gives me the type of look that would indicate that I am a despicable person, but it's literally highschool. It's normal for people our age to break up. "No Mason, what the fuck! Why would you even think that! I was at a very low point in my life, plus I just started losing feelings. Is it really my fault that I was trying to not lead you on?" I started gasping slowly. "Oh, I'm sorry our relationship was such a burden to you, my apologies. Can you imagine how hard was it to deal with me! What was it that was so hard you were going through?" He says sarcastically. "Mason, I don't have to explain everything to you we were already broken up. I didn't cheat on you, and I definitely did not lead you on, so I don't understand what your problem is! Can you please leave my house right now! I am not in the mood to talk to you!" I open up the door, pointing to the lane so that he'd leave. "Fine, I just thought you'd be having second thoughts, but I guess apparently not." He goes out as if I was the one who went to him first which makes me proud of my decision for breaking up with him earlier even more. "What happened?" Leia stands behind me while gently massaging my shoulders. "Boy drama, and trust me when I say you're very lucky you have none." I say while turning around to look at her. I expected her to be upset about since most guys have always considered Leia too masculine. "That must suck." She says with a light smile that almost shows all of her dimples. I never really understood how Leia was the one who didn't get any attention from boys. She had the prettiest smile that I almost envied her for as a child. She was really social and friendly, while it took me eight years to have my sister as my only friend. I went up to my room and looked at my CDs, and I was looking for Pablo Honey by Radiohead. I always color-coded most of my CDs so I never really mixed them up together, but the more I looked through my box, the less likely it appeared to be inside. Could Leia have possibly took it out and never return it? I try not to lose my temper while looking for it. "Leia, have you seen my Pablo Honey CD?" I try to raise my voice as I am speaking. "No," she yells back, "I don't even like Radiohead!" her response makes me regret asking, because if it's not here then somebody must've broken into the house. My mom never looks through my stuff, which raises the chances of my assumption being true. I try to look everywhere, even in places where it could never be put in. I try to open my radio, hoping I might find it in there, when I feel some hand brushing through my hair. I turn around so suddenly and I realize it's my mother. "What are you doing,sweetie?" I take a deep breath trying to relax myself. "Nothing, I was looking for my Pablo Honey CD. Have you seen it anywhere, Mom?" I try to not seem as nervous as I was when she touched me at first. "Ven, please relax. You know I never look through your stuff, and why does your room look like that? It looks like there was a shooting in here!" She tries to pick up my red skirt that I never really wore off of the ground, and takes all of my t-shirts with the same design just different colors, hoping to clean them up. "Mom, just leave it, please." I try to pick up my clothes, as if I'm about to clean up, which works out well and she vacates the room. Why did my mother adopt me in the first place? Most couples who are infertile would consider adoption at some point, which would be understandable, but she already had a daughter. Did she want another kid, and she was just unable to get pregnant afterwards? I didn't want my mother to ever know I am thinking about topics like these. My father never made me question why he'd ever adopt me. He didn't seem too hesitant when I first came like Mom, but he was rather cool about it, and he'd even tried to get to know my interests. Sometimes he'd take me out on an ice cream date whenever he'd drive Leia to any of her soccer practices. He had a very natural liking towards me, which made me feel almost as if I wasn't adopted. In most of the books I've read, none of the characters have ever demanded a reasoning for their partner's likeness towards them, and why was that? Was it a human's selfish desire to be unconditionally loved? I noticed that towards most kids as a child, which made me learn how to humble them once I started hitting puberty. As a child, we start growing our own insecurities, and in order to hide out all of our insecurities, we start to convince ourselves internally that we are the exception. It doesn't matter whether it's related to how beautiful you are, or how smart you are, or how strong you are, we all know deep down that we're terribly flawed. Some parents pamper their children to a point where they do believe they're special and deserving of unconditional love, and why shouldn't they? Nobody ever wants to be treated like crap.
