Can't I be Selfish?

Hobin shivered as he could feel the cold breeze swept against his bare face. He scrunched his nose, fighting the numbness of the freezing weather he is walking through. While doing so, he spotted a flower shop right next to him and instantly dropped his gaze on a bouquet of white orchids that were prettily stacked against each other. Hobin looked at it for a while, adoring how beautifully the white petals seemed, blending with the pure whiteness of the snow in the background.

"Excuse me, miss. I would like to buy these orchids." Hobin said while pointing at the stack of flowers. The florist smiled before taking some and stacking them into a bouquet and tying it with a red ribbon.

"For your loved one?" The florist smiled as she gave the bouquet to Hobin.

Hobin gave the florist some money then smiled back without saying anything.

Despite the snow surrounding him, Hobin's heart feels extremely heavy and hot after being reminded by the florist just now. He wondered why it aches so bad. Shushing the thoughts away, he looked at his watch and started to pick up his pace. Leaving visible footsteps on the snow behind him.

.

Shaking some of the snow off him, Hobin gathered determination as he reached out towards this hospital room in front of him. He could feel all of his courage crumble away from him, leaving him bare with nothing but the heavyweight of gloominess he had been trying to get rid of all the way from home to this hospital.

Why? He has visited this place countless times. Then, why can he never get used to the darkness lurking deep down inside his heart?

Hobin took in some oxygen to relax. Putting on a tough facade, he finally opened the door. Hobin could not help but wonder, even though it is an ordinary hospital door, it did feel heavy every time Hobin pushed it.

"There you are, bastard." a smirk can be heard between that seemingly aggressive greeting but it was let out more gently than it should have. Hobin stared at the tall figure with dark auburn locks styled in a mullet and the beholder of those brown autumn tantalizing orbs. He was holding a book while sitting on the hospital bed, legs crossed. Hobin could tell that the man never tore his eyes from him. Hobin could feel his face heating up.

Hobin tried to dampen his internal self panicking under the gaze of that man. He came in and closed the door behind him. He ignored the man's gaze and walked past him, making his way to the couch nearby the hospital bed. "You're early, Taehoon," Hobin said as he took off his coat and folded it tidily before taking a seat on it.

Taehoon sneered at him while resting his arm on his leg. "The dojang closed early today." He said nonchalantly as he leaned back, letting himself fall onto the springy bed. "I see," Hobin muttered while fiddling with the bouquet with his fingers, patting it repeatedly, as if trying to get something off it while in fact, he was just distracting himself. Taehoon turned his body to face Hobin.

"Where did you buy those flowers?"

"The flower shop near the station," Hobin answered, without looking at Taehoon.

"Have you always been into orchids?"

"No... Not really."

Taehoon hummed in response. Not long after, silence fell between them. It was weird that Hobin did not feel any dread or anxiety, the silence was not awkward that makes you gape for air. It was a comfortable silence that was sometimes disrupted by a sound of gentle wind hitting the window simultaneously. The moment Hobin looked up to Taehoon, they caught each other's gaze. Hobin could feel electricity striking his whole body. Taehoon cracked a smile. "Finally you look at me."

Hobin's heart raced uncontrollably fast as if it would burst out from his rib cage. He was close to choking his own saliva in the midst of bewilderment. Taehoon is naturally a flirty guy, it was completely normal when he does this but Hobin could never get used to it.