Hey guys, the main characters here are Synyster and Zack after THE REVS death
2-09-81/12-28-09
He's gone. That's the first thing that materialized through my head. He's gone and he's never coming back. I couldn't even feel pain. I was too numb. I don't know much what happened later that night. All I know is that by the end of the night I ended up in Matt's bathtub, a razor in one hand and a bottle of whiskey I the other. How could I live without him? Before I could make myself sleep forever, Zacky was barging in the bathroom. His blood-shot eyes landed on me. He didn't even scream. He just takes the razor and gives me a long look. He sighs and climbs in the tub next to me. He takes a swig and whispers in my ear " I can't live without both of you." He then scooted close, holding me till we both fell asleep tear-stained and defeated.
The next morning Matt finally coaxed us out of the bathroom, although he couldn't get us to eat. It felt like all happiness, all joy, was sucked out of my life. How did I have anything to live for? We all had black circles under our eyes. Everyone was silent. I hated the silence. It had been years since I was able to be alone with no one but my own mind for company. "When's the funeral?" I choked out, tears already forming in my eyes. Valary takes matt's hand and squeezes it. "It's going to be next Friday," She says. Her voice cracks, as if she had never spoken. Then it's silence again. I'm getting antsy. I jump up suddenly, knocking the chair over in the process. Everyone looks up, startled. As I rush out I know Zacky's eyes are filled with concern, without even looking. I trail out of the house, slamming the door.
I quickly hear Zacky following me. "Syn" he calls. I ignore him. "Brian" He calls more forcefully. That makes me turn towards him. "Please" He pleads, his eyes begging me to listen, his hand stretched out to me. I take it. He leads me to our special place. It's a wall like stretch of woods next to a lake. This is where I kissed my first girl. This is where Jimmy and me stole his older brothers alcohol stash, and got complete wasted. We had also had our first band meeting here. I walk to the corner and see Matt and Johnny sitting by a fire. Matt looked up and motioned for us to sit across from them.
When Matt and Val got married he showed her this place, but she decided not to come. I was grateful. Zacky and I sat down, his arm protectively around my shoulders. "Jimmy was amazing." Matt starts off. He seems to think better than to make a speech. He hangs his head. "I can't even describe him," he says, a tear rolling down his face. "He was funny and kind and the best brother I could have ever had." He sighed, "Anything anyone could ever say in a billion words wouldn't even scrape who he was." "The reverend will neverend." Zacky says squeezing my hand.
I clear my throat, grab a bottle of Jack and hold it up. "To the Rev" I say with a croak. I pass the bottle around and we each take turns saying stories about him. When it came to my turn, I gave everybody a sad smile. "We were at a casino in Santa Fe and I needed another drink, so I walked up to the bar. He screamed my name and ninja flipped over to me. Then he popped up as if it was nothing had happened." Tears were flowing freely from my eyes now. " I loved how he could do the most random things, he could always make me laugh."
I could see my favorite moments flashing by me. The stallion ducks, me sitting on his shoulders, him holding me when my mom died. I took another swig from the bottle. I don't know how I got home but I woke up to Zacky snoring and a blazing headache. I heard him muttering softly. "Syn" he calls. I freeze thinking he's awake. He just rolls over and whispers "please don't leave me." I smile sadly. Jimmy, I guess Ive found my reason for living.
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