Now Wasn't That Fun?

•Chapter 5• [Trigger Warning.]

"WE NEED A DOCTOR- ANYONE? PLEASE, HE'S FADING, SOMEONE CALL A DOCTOR"

- I closed my eyes giving way to the end..

Now you're probably wondering how I'm still alive, well guess what, I still honestly don't know, the years slowly went away..I hated every bit of it but fuck it, nothing matters am I right?

You know, life is always a mystery..Nothing ever ends out the way we expect and that's fine just pressure and pressure it'll be okay, you got this..Well- perhaps not.

- With the rain slowly starting to fall down against my face.

"It's quiet..just so quiet."

- Falling back I placed my bag over my head screaming out FUCK all I wished was for someone to hear me, to hear how much I was suffering I. I wished for death..For nothing to ever just make it's way to know I was ever hear ME? ELLIOT? All I ever wanted would just come true, there and then.

- Standing up, completely soaked I made my way back to my dorm room, laying on the floor, arms spread, looking up..it was peaceful all the voices just disappeared there and then, it just went away, I felt so free so alive I knew this couldn't end well or anything but that's okay.

Life isn't perfect, life isn't the way we thought it's just someone putting in the effort to make something happen. A ploy, a fit, something someone could just fucking wish to have, to want. Life is a shit show that makes you happy then fucks you up, your endless backstabber and I guess we'll just have to deal with it, if we don't then where does that end up? Dead? Oh well Darling I'm pretty sure none of us want that. 
Best answer is to just wait. Nothing gets better but that's fine after all it's just life.

- I sat up, walking out to the balcony looking up into the night sky.

"I wonder where you are, Starlight. Heh- Maybe you're one of those stars, the best star I'd ever fucking had met and I know they would love to be here, life wasn't meant to end this way for you but that's fine, we'll meet again and I'd be damned if you don't show up."

- Looking down my eyes flashed and saw a..no-

"STARLIGHT? STAR- STARLIGHT???"

- The figure..Just stared and smiled with me rushing down the stairs bursting through the doors passing security as the security followed me as I traced myself under my dorms balcony.

"Star..?..Please come back..Come to me- Star..Please."

- I fell on my knees crying, gripping onto the grass as security tapped my shoulder looking at me with a bright and calm smile- I began to cry more, rushing, stumbling over my words as I just jumped out hugging the security, I felt so safe and okay, lifting myself off of them while they walked me back to my dorm. As they left I rolled myself up on the floor crying even more, fuck I couldn't stop I just wanted it to stop and It wouldn't..Why did this happen? Today?. I wanted Star, I just..

Passed out on the floor, hours and hours go by aha.. I guess this is what a burnout feels like? It didn't hurt and it didn't not hurt. It just felt like I was dead, lifelessly staying on this world for no common reason but that I can't leave, leaving isn't good.. What if everyone could just stay here, no pain, no stress well I guess that wouldn't be a good world? Just everyone is happy, cheerful and loveable but what am I supposed to do when all I get is is a trapped subject in this mindless pit of something that feels right, I don't think anyone would enjoy that mindscape of something all humans would beg to have, it's not right, its uncertain and for all we know that world could just be us trying to pretend we got away with life and all its' fucking problems, its' issues, its' mistakes but yet we're just the fucking mistake left on this world, test subjects for what we want, mindless begins without any sense of power but do we care? No. No we do not. We just want acceptance and care, love, it's just fucking pathetic and I don't want it. 

- I woke up shooting up looking around as I grabbed my phone checking the time then as I realized I called one of the heads, 

"Head office here. How may I be an assistance to you?"

"Uh..F-Fu..Mm..May I take a day off?..Outside of school, Just one day.."

"And you are?"

"E-Elliot..Elliot Griffin"

"Alright, Sir. Make your way down to the office in thirty to be checked out."

- The call ended as I got up sitting at the side of my bed picking up my bag, slowly starting to fill it. Moving away to enter the shower, getting everything finished as I made my way down..All I could feel was eyes staring at me, I was unsure of if their was anyone actually looking at me, all the pressure, the fear, I didn't like it, I just wanted to get out of there, I needed to leave. I just couldn't bare the fucking thought of any of this just being out there..

With my head down, walking along the hallway as thoughts just ran through my brain I stopped midway to take a breath, looking around at people "They seemed so..Happy." I thought to myself, I wish I could be that happy..It all seems so nice, honestly, their smiles, their laugher, the sound of joy but deep in we all know they aren't as perfect as they may seem. It's just fucking fake.

As I got to the office there was so much guards- just staring at me..God- I was the given some papers to sign and books to read on my way out..

"See you next week, Elliot!"

- Next week? Oh that's right..It's friday.

Walking out those gates, It felt so..free, so much emotions I can't just say..I loved it, so much..

- 19:45