The Demon I Used To Be

Chapter two

December 24 2012

It was a windy day. Dust and ash particles formed a haze in the atmosphere. I jostled through the breeze and knelt over Bell's grave. It had been a year since she died -or was killed.
Bell was the name of the cat I had adopted half an hour before its death -before its murder. I buried her, or him, behind the remains of where I used to live when I was younger.
I took some of the coarse sand in my hand and squeezed it, wondering the first step to take. I had finally decided to get a place to stay and stop hovering about like I'd been doing for the past year. I rose up, letting go of the sand and staring into nowhere. It was definitely not going to be an easy journey for an eleven-year-old me but something else had suddenly taken over my mind. 'Did all bloods taste the same?'

I trampled sticks, stones and dry leaves with ticking sounds as I stomped away from the bare land. A little girl ran over like she was being chased. Her hair was light brown, nearly white, and packed in pigtails with a fringe over her forehead. She wore a flared dress, sky blue in colour, that had a big decorative bow behind and a Peterpan Collar around it's neckline. It also had white floral designs at its hems. She seemed to have been running as fast as her short chubby legs could carry her. She stopped to look back then chuckled and cried, "Told ya you wouldn't catch me!", with her tiny voice painted with a British Accent.
She reminded me of someone. Alyssa must've needed a friend to keep her company -I thought.
"Not fair. You should've waited for me!" She squealed. Slowly, she trudged back. I dashed towards her and grabbed her small wrist. "Who are you?"
"Just come with me"
I had asked her to come with me. She did. I was back to Bell's grave when my 'blood curiosity' returned to my working memory. I gazed at her hand still wrapped by my small fingers, though bigger than hers. They looked soft and delicate. Her skin was light, almost transparent. I squeezed her hand hard making her yelp in pain then released it. She slapped my elbow pit with her other arm while I noticed the new red blotches on the hand I had squashed. I grabbed the hand again, but with more force, and gripped the skin on the back of her index between my incisors. She cried loudly but I ignored. She slapped and kicked then, finally, pulled the hand away. I made sure I didn't let go of the skin as she pulled back so I was successful. Tears gathered in her light brown eyes as she stared at her bleeding finger. I moved closer and crouched before her.
"Don't worry. It'll heal. I just wanted to know what your blood tasted like, okay?" I said softly. She slapped my cheek hard so I slapped her back. I reached for her hand and rubbed off some blood with my tongue.
"Yuk!" I spat at her. It didn't taste as I had expected, although, I hadn't actually expected any particular taste. She spat back. Gross. I spanked her harder so she fell then I wiped off her saliva with her blue dress.
"Mummy just got the dress" she whined, bursting into tears. She got up and walked away. I took larger strides, hot on her heels, then pulled her back by her collar. She screamed louder. I pressed my palm over her widely opened mouth to control her noise for a while. When she didn't seem to stop, I bent and scooped some sand then poured it into her mouth. She paused for a while, spitting out the sand, then continued. I scooped some more...then more...and more till her mouth was full. I hurried to where I had left a spade, the year earlier, to get it.
When I was back, she was done emptying her mouth and had started strolling back, but this time, quietly. I dashed to her and dragged her back, throwing her against the dust. She glared at me with her little eyes as she laid between dried twigs and leaves on the dusty ground. I went to my spade and started digging.
"Alyssa! What're you doing there?" I heard a lady yell in a similar accent to the girl's. I whirled around and saw the girl get off the dust in her soiled dress. She was Alyssa; the one the woman had called. I ran to her and hugged her, the girl.
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to hurt you. I had no idea you were Alyssa. Please forgive Ally" I begged, holding her tighter. Streams of tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Get away. I hate you" she replied, planting her tiny hands on my chest. She pushed me and I fell to the dust, intentionally. I wanted her to see it as her revenge and then forgive me. I was really sorry. She faced her right, opening her mouth widely.
"What happened?"
The woman had reached where we were. "She filled my mouth with sand"
"Why would you do that?" She yelled, giving me a hard slap on my back as she did.
The woman also had light brown eyes but her skin was a little tanned. She also had a fringe over her forehead but her shoulder-length blonde hair brushed her shoulders freely. She wore a long ash flared skirt with a pale pink turtle neck sweater.
"I didn't know she was Alyssa" I retorted.
"So what if she is Alyssa, what do you care? Who's she to you?" She sputtered loudly.
"Who's she to YOU?" I yelled back. I couldn't recognize the woman. I also couldn't recognize the girl, but at least she was Alyssa and I knew Alyssa.
"You should probably look a little closely to get the resemblance. Alyssa is my baby girl"
I noticed they also had pointed noses in common. 'Why would so much resemblance come from just her mum. What about her dad?' I wondered.
I had hazel eyes like my mum and a flat nose like my dad. Although, I also had dark hair like my mum, wavy long dark brown hair.
"But Alyssa didn't say when she got back. And she didn't cry Anna when she saw me."
I responded soberly, dropping my eyes to the ground.
"You're just crazy...and pretty. Where are your parents? How old are you? Why would they leave a child your age in the open this way? What kind of parents are they?"
"Well, why did you take our Alyssa and make her yours?"
I was still sober when I spoke.
"ALYSSA IS MINE! I gave birth to her. I brought her into this world. What's wrong with you? Psychopath" she yelled. Red blotches spread across her light skin. I could feel her rage.
"If you're hiding anything then it's from your husband and not me. There's no need to yell. Also, I'm eleven and my parents didn't leave me; they were taken from me." I blurted wryly, glaring at the woman.
"Mummy she smirched my Christmas Dress too" the girl complained. The girl got on my nerves more; she wasn't my Alyssa and she wasn't even anything close to her.

Alyssa was a three-year-old girl with a lighter brown curly hair. She had dark eyes and a pointed nose. She usually wore a bright smile that exposed her cute dentition. She used to have the best skin in the world, as far as everyone around her was concerned, until she got a hot oil bath accidentally, when she was two; she ended having the best skin in the world, as far I was concerned. She was a sweet little thing -pinching Alex and then running to use me as a shield while giggling breathlessly.

"Why did you leave the store? I hadn't even paid for the dress"
"But it was Dave's fault. He chased me around"
I watched the woman and the girl nag. I couldn't think of anything else to do or say. The woman raised her head and her gaze was back at me. "You ought to have paid for this dress..." She started. I scoffed cheekily. She continued, "...but I don't want dirty money from a child psychopath"
She clasped the little girls wrist and trudged toward the road. I whirled around to see the hole I had already started digging before she found the girl. I was going to put her in it...then close it up,if I hadn't found out she was Alyssa. Bell must also have needed a caregiver -I thought.
The woman ended up taking Alyssa away without caring what happened with me. They were no longer in my sight. She took her own Alyssa, anyway. Mine was already gone. She wasn't coming back; not because she didn't want to, but because she couldn't and I had to accept that reality.

My baby sister, Alyssa, was dead.