✔️FOREVER; he said

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" try not to forget me "

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"

Forever", was what you said when you first held me in your warm arms. Your eyes glitter under the moonlight, a smile of adoration never leaving your lips and your eyes- your eyes held the whole world for me.
I could see it -- your heart raced by every passing second and i could feel it against mine.

That night I knew I found the one I have been waiting for all this time. Warm tears slided down my cold cheeks as I felt completed , wholely- the missing piece in me was filled - by you.

People used to tell me how a heart and soul full of paitence I was, that the wait will be worth and it did with you by my side. I was completed.

And I remember, that clear spring sky where flowers blossomed with a new beginning, dancing against each other under the spring breeze -- and us in the middle where you took my hands into your warm ones -- vows escaped your lips as your eyes sparkled with love -- only for me. Tears escaped my eyes.

That night we stayed in each other's embrace warming each other in that chilly night. Your lips stealing kisses - and my skin warm under them. I prayed that night to be with you like this - forever.

You bought me flowers -- made me my favourite food -- we walked hand in hand beside the shore -- made love under the moonlight.

I wished for nothing but to stay like this - forever.

~

But then, time changed -- you changed....

You no longer bought flowers for me - no longer made food for me - we no longer walked beside the shore - no longer made love under the moonlight--- there was no longer us.

But, i stayed thinking you were tired, busy so I made you your favourite food that night , waiting and waiting, then you came i asked if you want to eat now - you said "no" and went inside.
My tear dropped but I smiled thinking you were tired.

Childish was I, so i cried -- stupid me.

You started to leave early and come late, thinking you were busy and tired I never questioned you,but only waited .....and waited.

Fear englufed inside my heart, my body hot - but I shook my head smiling, childish was I - stupid me.

Day wentby and you started to become a stranger to me, just like we were before -- meeting each other.

Every night tears flowed but I never made a sound knowing you are not here -- even if you are here.

I wanted to ask you, but you never answered....still there was a hope inside me so i went to you that cold night while you stood infront of the colorless wall looking towards the dark sky.
I englufed you between my arms, but it felt cold not like the warm ones I used to feel.
You lips never smiled like it used to do, your eyes cold like the winter night and your heart - your heart felt nothing against mine.

But still I held you, not wanting to leave -- maybe I didn't feel your warmth but I wanted you to feel mine. And...I felt your hands around me. Cold tears run through my warm cheeks as I felt shattered.

Days went by, and i didn't know you, and with you I didn't know myself.
Days went by, and I lost you, and with you I lost myself.

Still I hoped, childish was I - stupid me.

And then one day, I saw you - your eyes glitter, your lips holding the smile of adoration, your eyes held the whole world - i could see it and your heart,and maybe your heart raced again ------ but, this time it was not me.

Tears escaped my eyes - stupid was I.

I couldn't say anything, i couldn't feel anything -- i wanted to ask you but nothing came.

What should I ask - maybe ," Do you still love me? "
or maybe, " Did you ever loved me?"

People say, if you love someone only that person matters, and everything fades away but why did I fade away? Was i not enough or was i never enough or maybe I never existed?.

Then why did his eyes shone, then why did he smiled, then why did his heart raced -- then why did he took the vows?

Love brings pain, and it is a sweet pain they say but why does it taste bitter to me.

~
I wanted to shout but my voice dead. I was tired, broken -- way too much to do anything so instead I smiled.

You came back, a smile never leaving your lips, I smiled looking at you - stupid me.

You saw me, I smiled.

You came to me. But i smiled, and you didn't.

We stood facing each other, my smile never leaving my face, as tear rolled down my cheeks and I saw something in your eyes, for a second.

Holding your hand around my cold ones.

"She is beautiful", I said as i smiled looking into your eyes and your eyes moist. I held your hands tight - for the last time.... "I would like to meet her, but i can't" , and your tears run down your rough cheeks -- I wiped it away for the last time......" You should have told me, you know, but it's okay. I hope you are happy"....... "Treasure her".
And I engulfed you in my cold embrace but this time I felt your warmth - your heart race against mine and when I saw your eyes, it glistered with something I saw in ages , love ----- and fear, fear of losing -- for me.......... but it was late, too late.

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" I don't know why I wrote this maybe a inner feeling in me..".
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" I too loved someone, and that love bought the most bitter taste of life. I forgot how to hold myself, i lost myself, for that love bought me near my deathbed-- but thank to someone higher up that I stood up strong, for now.. but everything is shattered inside and i don't know how to mend it anymore".
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but I learned,
- forgiveness is only what will give your mind and soul peace..... the best revenge is moving forward in your life, happily. Remember, everything goes, at one point.
Let's the unwanted people be nothing but stranger to you.

~~~