Is There Someone Else?

It's Too Late Now.

I've been working from home....keyword forced, cause someone doesn't want me to overwork myself. My bump is not that big, although it's clearly visible if I wear a tank top or something of that sort.

"Zara, I'mma head to the office to get some paperwork, you need something?"

"Ice cream, mint choc chip flavour, please and thank you."

"Okay, anything else?"

"Crisps. And a chocolate bar. And Skittles. And -"

"Can you stop that?!?"

"Stop what?"

"Just list what you want like a normal human being. Not this and and and stuff you keep doing."

"And why would I do that?" I feigned innocence, smiling sweetly at him.

He simply rolled his eyes and kissed me on the forehead, and my belly " I'll bring you all you asked me for, after work. See ya."

I continued with my work, stopping every once in a while because of my suddenly weak bladder, and my weird cravings.

Don't blame the cravings on the baby, you've always been into some fear factor type shit.
Ugh. Damn subconscious.

*Knock knock*

"I'm coming!!!!" I hurried my way over to the door, trying hard to not stumble on my own feet.

When I opened the door, I did not expect to see the person standing in my doorway.

"Mom." This can't be real.

"My baby. You're so beautiful -" she extended her arm to touch my face to which I blocked by facing the other way.

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be back home."

"I came over to see you baby. It's been so long Zara, with you not answering my calls and -"

"You know exactly why I did that. You are a backstabber, and a liar." I couldn't stop my shaking hands, anger radiating through me.

"How could you say that to me baby? I gave birth to you, raised you and gave you a roof over your head. And this is how you speak to me? And you didn't even tell me that you're engaged now?" Her hand on her heart, hurt evident on her face.

I was not about to have a full blown argument outside for people to see, so I invited her in and offered her some juice.

"Nice house you have. You really did well for yourself dear."

"Thanks. But I'm sure you're not here to compliment  my house. Just cut to the chase and tell me why you're here." For some reason her presence, whether it's in person or over the phone, has always gave me chills, and my anxiety flies through the roof.

She's the reason for my poor choice in men, and always having to overcompensate, even if it wasn't my fault. I've had insane self confidence issues because of her jealousy of me. I've always looked better, with my thick curly hair, while hers was straight, among other things of course.

Deciding to move out was the point where I realised that our relationship was beyond the point of repair. And for the first time ever, I feel okay with that. Sure, the first couple months I cried my lungs out every night, because the silence the night brought reminded me of the betrayal from her. The woman that gave birth to me seeing me as competition, when all I wanted was to love her, and be loved.

"I just want to make things right between us. To repair whatever was lost between us."

"The only time I would bother to even try making amends is if you admit that you were a bad mother."