To Drown in Power(And Re-Emerge Heartless)

Help Me Breathe

"Amina!" he called as he staggered out into the growing blizzard.

Ilnum, it was cold. How the After did his soldiers, his people, survive it?

They didn't.

A quarter died from the cold, and they hadn't even sprung any Aquilo traps. He shouldn't have let them- made them- go.

"Amina!"

He made them go. He marched them to their deaths. It was his fault, his responsibility, as Amina had always said.

"Ami-." Someone grabbed him from behind. Securing a hand over his mouth.

"Shut up." they(Amina?) hissed into his ear. "Do you want the Aquilo to know you're still alive?"

He just shook his head.

"I swear to Caeles if you die out here because you insist on following me into a blizzard full of Aquilo forces I will never forgive you," she muttered as she dragged him back into the cavern.

She gently sat him down by the fire and began to pull away.

She was leaving again. He didn't want her to leave. He couldn't let her leave.

"Amina." He grabbed her wrist. She flinched slightly. Was he really that bad? "I'm sorry."

She just stared at him for a moment before slowly pulling her hand out of his grip, and placing it on the hilt of her dagger.

"I forgive you," she consoled, though her words sounded hollow. Hollow. Just like Astus had been after he killed him. Hollow. Just like his people were as the war dragged on. Hollow. That was all he ever felt these days. Just an endless nothing.

Nothing was wrong. That was what he had told Amina. But she had never believed it. She was always there, even when he pushed her away. He wished he had never pushed her away.

Everything went downhill after that day. After he pushed Amina aside the first time. It was so hard the first time. Had been. It wasn't anymore. After that first time came the second, and the third, and the fourth, and on and on and on. It became too easy. Too simple. And so wrong.

He messed everything up. And it was time he owned up to it.

"I am so sorry for pushing you aside when you only ever tried to help me."

She froze partway out the exit. That was a better sign.

"Astus, the negotiations, the war, just everything was my fault. I was doing what was easy, not right, and everyone else paid for my mistakes. I should have listened to you when you told me to follow my heart, and I should have never let my dad's mistakes define my rule."