Short stories

Love that doesn't exist

From the moment I woke up till this day they all said you don't exist.

But I can't believe anyone anymore. If you did not exist, why do I miss you so much? Where did things go wrong?  Where are you? What happened to you? Did you really exist or was it all just my imagination? Was I really sleeping for two years. If yes then why did my dream felt so real. Why can I remember everything about you. How beautiful you looked, the way you smiled, those beautiful eyes which held my heart captive , your smile which made me breathless.  Why are you not here with me anymore?  Why can I remember those beautiful moments we spent together.  Those nights walking barefoot around the sea. Those little trinkets you bought for me. You smell like forest mixed with vanilla, such an amazing fragrance which is distinguishably yours. I can recognize you even before you speak or touch just by the gentle breeze which surrounds me with your fragrance. 

I can no longer distinguish between real and fake. I have tried myself out, no tears are left anymore to cry on my imagination.  Just where did you go, even if you are my imagination why can't you be together with me anymore. 

Your existence was my life. Yet you don't exist here. They say I am mad. But I love you so much that I can't get over it. Is it really impossible for me to see you again.  Are my parents and family lying to me or did we never exist? Was there never a 'WE' in between us or it was just me imagining things. 

Come back to me please. I am tired now. I need you. Nothing can replace you. I have learnt to stop showing those emotions anymore in front of anyone. But I keep yearning for you, my eyes keep searching for your presence. Those moments we spent together are keeping me together with the only hope that someday I will see you again. Sometimes I feel you never needed me, that's why you left me all alone here. Doubts and questions keep me occupied throughout the day. Looking through the window, every night when I look at the moon. I miss you and wish that when I wake up tomorrow you will be there yet again you are not there when I wake. 

People look at me with sympathy because for them I am a mad person imagining living with you, who nobody knows about.

Or everything I know about you is not real. Was I not trustworthy enough so you never dared to tell me the truth? Or was your existence just a shadow of my mind? 

Days went on and I was left the same without any changes. But who would have known today would be different there I would find hope which I was yearning for. It was not what I expected but atleast I would know you once were a part of my life. I would live on with just those memories. I am content now with this little bit of happiness and light that God graced me with, lighting up my dark world. I will cherish this beautiful moment from this day on and record everything for you, for us, if someday we meet and you wish to look back. Maybe I won't be a part of your life then but I am happy now because I have a part of you and a part of me, living inside of me. A tiny bit of hope and love packed with everything that's growing slowly inside me . Our lovely child ❤  whom I will love forever and I will live on and get stronger for our baby. I wish I could inform you that you are going to be a father. But you are not there and nobody will believe me even if I say anything.  I will wait for you . My love, live well wherever you are. Live on and be happy. I will protect my child. And thank you for loving me so much. Thank you for leaving behind something for us. Not making me feel like a mad woman anymore. 

Goodbye, dear. It's time for me to start anew and live on with our child. I will never forget you. You will always be a part of my life. I will always yearn for your presence but now I need to live for our child. If someday you and I meet I wish I could at least touch you. Because all those moments I searched for you came empty which broke me into pieces. But this little gift is everything for me. I just hope this will be real throughout my life. 

Bye,  I love you forever.